I have to be honest; things aren’t that great in wee-travelling land and this blog is the first to get dropped off the bottom of my to do list. Basically I just haven’t had the energy for perky happy type posts that I think you might like to read. I’m struggling to be ‘American’ (sorry) and happy to use this blog as therapy.

But sometimes life throws you so many curveballs you just have to start throwing them back.

Admittedly, I may be a little – here it comes – depressed, but I seriously don’t think I’m ready for the men in white coats yet (or even their little white pills). But recently, like death’s scythe, they have been hovering, waiting for the time to be right to cart me off. I’ve been on the verge of tears all the time, of snapping, of slamming doors, or stomping off in a teenage huff. In fact I’m acting just like I did when I was a teenager. 30? More like 15. Complete with stress spots, tummy aches and hair pulling out incidents (another story).

My best mate from uni calls it ‘my boxes’. That I have every little element of my life in a box. When one falls down, they all fall down. It takes a long time to sort them back into nice organised piles. However, I can justify the blubbering and the snot. Things just aint that great right now.

In brief (as not to force You over the edge) Work is shit. Dubai? yes the boss is going on the trip and IM NOT GOING. But I have to do all the work for him as well. Which is total fecking bullshit. I’m also in trouble because of my stupid digestive system and the ineptitude of the NHS I have a scary scary scary sick record. One that in most jobs would have seen me fired. But even my lovely public sector job is starting get annoyed and disciplinary hearing may yet raise its head. Maybe Dubai and this are related. 2+2=4 after all.

I’ve already started working on my CV.

I’m also stuck between a rock and hard place with my group of friends, but I wont go into details as I promised never to blog about them on here (however stupid that may sound – this is my life/my blog, but a promise is a promise) But if any of girls you read this – being lonely just isn’t fun and I need to have friends too.

However, I’m mainly pissed off that my life isn’t where in the normal world it should be. And that is something that people want to commiserate me on. They have to check that at 30 im not married, engaged, kidded up, doggified and a slave to my 50k London salary. And driving an Audi or a Merc.

There is nothing wrong with the choices I have made in MY life. Okay, it isn’t perfect right now, I admit, but at least I am free to make my own choices, not a slave to what should be. So this is my teary eyed, snotty nosed request to all of you out there – go back to worrying about your own life. It aint perfect either.

Thank you for listening, normal service will resume shortly.

Kx

*American Girls by Counting Crows