alcohol does have other uses
The Blog Secret post is here if thats what you are here to look for….kx
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Last night after a glass of wine I really shouldn’t have had I got a little maudlin. Actually, make that a lot. The cat even started pacing up and down the end of the bed wondering what the hell had happened to his normally pretty sane mum. I let out a massive dose of self-pity and had to run to the bathroom to hide the hysterical sobbing (eww, that sounds horrible). Those brackets aren’t even needed, it was disgusting.
Self pity: a wine induced emotion that induces tears and boyfriends want to run a mile.
Was I good enough for him if I had no friends? Would he respect me if I admitted that things had gone really wrong for me?
I explained that for the last three years I had been happy. That I had grown up out of the ashes of my long term relationship where my life revolved around him. I had gone out, put myself out there and made friends totally unconnected from what had gone before. That I had learnt to stand on my own two feet. That I had been proud of myself. That last year it all imploded around me.
But of course he hugged me and reminded me that it wasnt my fault, that this wasnt uncommon, that i wasnt as alone as i thought. He reminded me of the friends from uni that I only kept half in touch with, the new ones I had started cultivating that had fallen by the wayside after a couple of drink dates, and the ones that id just been too lax to reply to. He reminded me that this was the wine talking and everything would be ok.
But last night that glass of wine made me realise that I hadn’t moved on. That I was still hanging on to the coat strings of friends that were no longer friends. That it was time to accept it and move on.
I guess alcohol does have other uses.
Kx
I’ve felt like that so many times. And my bouts of self pity have to be seen to be believed. Ugh, even i want to run away from myself.
*hug*
God, me too. It’s been such a strange weekend… I think there must be something in the water.
I hope today you realise just how special you are. I hardly know you, and I can see that. Your last year sounds like my 2004, which was an absolute horror.
You’re not alone.
God, me too. It’s been such a strange weekend… I think there must be something in the water.
I hope today you realise just how special you are. I hardly know you, and I can see that. Your last year sounds like my 2004, which was an absolute horror.
You’re not alone.
Oh dear! Alcohol is the perfect catalyst to bring up those thoughts and emotions that you arent’ quite ready to verbalise when sober. I can testify that from my frequent crazy girl rants at Dr D!
Friends are things that I worry about too, especially since I know that I’ll have to move wherever Dr D gets a job, and it’s likely that I’ll know no one.
My dad said once though that if you can count your good true friends on just one hand then you’re very lucky. And I think he’s right. Who cares if you don’t have masses of friends, I don’t, but I do have a few that I know I can trust and rely on no matter what. (And they don’t even fill the one hand). I feel blessed for having them, rather than thinking about the people I haven’t got :)
I hope you’re feeling better today. You have lots of net friends too I’m sure :)
CP x
Thanks girls! What lovely messages :)
I do feel better today. I just had to realise once and for all that a friendship and a friendship group i once had was over. That group was the one i made when i went out and made some totally new friends. It was tough to finally let go.
Its not that i dont have friends, i do, and Catspuke – you are right, the best ones can be counted on one hand.