blog secret
So, today is blog secret day and this post has been sent in anonymously by someone brave enough to reveal something close to their heart….i’ve also put a secret out in the world for strangers to read, to judge, to comment on. If you are taking part in blog secret, as you read each post, think about it, it could be mine, so be gentle. You can read the rest of the participants here and visit Nilsa to say a big thanks for organising it!
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But that is not happening, for some reason the idea of sex is just neutral for me. I have no desire for it, zero, zilch, nada…. I don’t know where or how this came to be. I suspect that it may be due to the fact that I have been on some sort of birth control for almost 15 years or for two gyno relates procedures that I had two years in a row ending last year. Both which may have messed up my system.
My doctor seems to think that my hormones may be imbalanced again and the one way to rev things up again would be to add testosterone to my system via a cream that I put on my arm daily. But in a way it freaks me out to do that. I saw a program where that is what Jose Canseco does as his testosterone level is shot due to years to steroid use. Plus the cream is mostly recommended for me.
I miss the special intimacy that comes with sex. I miss the effects that it can have on your body, mind and spirit. I miss that it is a way for me to show my guy how much I love him. (He has been incredibly patient).
I just don’t know what else to do. What do you suggest?
sometimes you jsut have to *do* it…more often than not you’ll get into it, and the more you do, the more you’ll want…
I agree, just keep at it. The more you have it the more you want it. The less you have it the more the desire goes away.
That’s of course if it’s not your partner that you don’t desire.
Cp x
Me three, actually i think this is so common that i dont understand why people feel the need to keep it a secret. Chemistry is a funny thing. Chemistry fades if you dont create it – its true the more you have sex the more you want it.
I guess you have to find something that he does that will start you off and take it from there. Dont think about the sex, think about the turn on.
It could be low-libido, sweet cheeks.
I got a book called “Perfectly Normal” – The Author Escapes me, but I’ll check as soon as I arrive home and post it here later tonight!
What if you approached it like your workout? If I need a motivation kick start, I buy new workout clothes (Agent Provocateur! Chantelle! Yay!). And then, even if I’m not in the mood, I put on my new workout clothes and go to the gym. And then I’m at the gym in my new workout clothes, so I might as well get on the treadmill. I mean, I’m already there, right? In this new great workout gear. And then, once I’m on the treadmill walking for 5 minutes, I realize I feel better. I feel energized. I feel like maybe I’ll run a little. But you know, just until I want to stop. So I crank up the speed and run. And I find that running feels good. I feel good. I feel alive and awake. I don’t want to stop. So I keep running. Maybe I even increase the incline because hell, I’m alive and running and feeling awesome. So I run and run, and begin to feel like my old self again. And then suddenly thirty minutes has gone by in a flash. So I get off, stretch out, and realize that I’m feeling incredibly. I’m sweaty and spent and can’t wait to do it again.
ummmm….. I love my hormone cream.
Do you still have things you find yourself idly fantasizing about? Is there something that has changed between the two of you along with the physical explanations? Some things to consider….
Wow, that’s the second BlogSecret like this I’ve read today, so you’re definitely not alone. Also, I agree with the earlier comments, that suggest you just “do” it. I remember hearing a book about a couple that had sex every day for 100 days (or 101?), whether or not they felt like it and the end result was that their relationship (sexual and overall) was better all around. I intend to give that a shot when I have a long-term partner… :)
i totally understand… and I’m pretty sure my wife is the same way. *sigh*
one thing that I read was from Laura Corn (back when my wife and I WERE having sex) that she used to be in the same boat. One thing she did was she had sex, whether she really wanted to or not, like 4 times a week. Seriously, you love him, he loves you, you do LIKE sex, so does he. Now I understand you don’t necessarily want to have sex… but do you want to NOT have sex? if you don’t care one way or the other… do it anyways. What she said was when she did that… it was kind of a feed back loop. the more she had sex, the more she liked having sex..
Anyways, I have no idea if that’d work in your situation (I know it wouldn’t in mine but that’s my own Blogsecret to write).