there was once a boy who never grew up
I’m sitting here at the bottom of my own wheel of fortune, the lowest of the low in the relationship caste system. But instead of getting off the wagon im travelling on, putting the pain to bed and working out where the hell i start again, i’ve realised that something has to give – if my relationship ideals are to stay the same then something has to change.
If you knew me, you’d see a veritable Peter Pan, floating through life but never never seeming to land. A youthful outlook, no cares for the future, onwards to the next adventure! But if i’m honest with myself i’m not Peter, i’m Tinkerbell.
I’m a sparkle, destined to be a flight of fancy for a short time before it burns out, a toy to be played with before something more exciting comes along. I might look and act like peter on the outside, never caring what happens next but i’m really feeling like i’m stuck on the outside looking in.
How i change this i don’t know, all i know is that you might think being a fairy is perfect for this time of year, but this tinkerbell wants someone for life not just for christmas.
Kx
Did you ever actually read Peter Pan? Tinkerbell was actually quite a force to be reckoned with. ;)
Take your time and grieve, and when you are ready do it a little bit differently next time.
i should maybe explain, my friends call me peter pan as i never seem to change, to grow up! I’m worried that one day ill wake up on my own surrounded by cats never having realised its just a fantasy. I feel like tinkerbell because despite the strength she is ultimatly a lonely character!
This made me cry a little, I’m feeling ridiculously overemotional today. But even fairies need hugs sometimes, I think.
Hope you’re smiling today xx
This made me cry a little, I’m feeling ridiculously overemotional today. But even fairies need hugs sometimes, I think.
Hope you’re smiling today xx
Ok so here’s the thing. We all feel like this. Every one of us at some point, some of us all the time. I still don’t feel grown up and I’m 30 with a mortgage. I look around and wonder when someone is going to tell me they’re taking it all away.
The point is, it’s the only life you have. here and now. the things you choose to do, and not do, the choices you make, are the things that shape who you are and how people see you. Until you know where you want to be how can you find someone to go there with you?
Take time, work out what you want, who you are…and then, only then, make a decision about how to get there.
and relax, we all need to chill sometimes x
lastyearsgirl aw it sounds like you need a hug! lizsara thats the kind of advice i need. I know this, i’m 30 to and have been through all this before, i guess i need to chill, have some fun and just get on with my life- get happy! Thanks hon x
Pretty good words from LizSara. FWIW, I’m not a grown up. Never have been, probably never will be. And every time I try to figure our what I want to be (scientist who makes world-shattering discoveries, astronaut, deep-sea diver, train driver) the gulf between where I am and where I think I want to be is so big I lose another five years off my mental age. I think I’m about 12 now.
What I’m trying to say is we all have down times, especially when relationships end. It’s almost a bereavement. You will pull through. But if you decide you want to be something different in the middle, plan the path and think about it. It’ll make the journey more fun.
You are stronger than you think and you will come to see this.
Many would be so jealous of such a life, the freedom and appearing fairy tale.
Things will come, stay strong and believe in this fairy tale as it will come true. xxx