so please, love me do oh, love me do
There are not many things in this world that scare the shit out of me more than the thought that I’m meant to be looking for someone to love me.
Admittedly I’m not a self-indulgent fuck-up that thinks no-one-will-ever-love-me-i’m-going-to-eat-worms type, as I reckon on reflection you could do a lot worse than me. I don’t have that many bad habits apart from being a bit too pragmatic for my own good, hard-nosed on occasion and a tendency to be purposely obtuse when faced with un-deserved superiority complexes. And people who use big words.
A-hem
Basically, despite my general air of forgetfulness, laziness and stubbornness, you’d still pick me out of the cage line up – i’m loyal, well-trained and have lovely silky hair.
It’s not finding someone to love that’s the issue, but the thought of love itself. I’m scared of it. In fact, love scares me more than cows, architects, people who don’t like football, airplanes, number withheld phone calls and my mother when she’s on a rant about my smoking.
Being in love, of being wide open in front of someone (and not for lust purposes), handing your sanity over to be stomped upon seems like complete madness to me. I’ve always been reluctant to let go, to stop being Peter Pan, to grow up, settle down. Settle. Maybe I have expectations set so high about what I think real love is meant to be that I won’t ever achieve even a semblance of it.
I know no one is perfect, that we all make mistakes in relationships, that the sooner the spell the other person has over you is broken the better but I still cant trust love to be there for me.
Finding someone who wants to be with me, taking each day as it comes is more important to me that someone who dreams of a romantic happy ending.
But then maybe being in love is like a female orgasm, you never know exactly what you should be expecting to get, how long its going to last for and that everyone’s experience is different.
Even the cynic in me knows practise makes perfect.
Kx
Being in love, of being wide open in front of someone (and not for lust purposes), handing your sanity over to be stomped upon seems like complete madness to me.
Whoa, who the hell said you had to have anything stomped on? The right person stomps on nothing and helps you to become the you that you secretly want to be.
Hey, maybe instead of being resolved to losing your Pan-ishness, you could find you Peter and stay in Neverland forever.. :)
Cheers to you and your shadow.
You will find the perfect person for you. It just may take more time than you had planned.
“Love is giving someone the power to destroy you. And trusting them not to.”
Just a quote that I thought you might like. Keep your head up and have fun being single!!
Yep, when it works it works. It sounds like it is not the love that you are afraid of, but the vulnerability. I’ll give you that. But maybe it’s time to stop looking at what is out there, and look at what you’ve got. You seem to know what sort of love you want, and how you want your man to feel about you. But what do you want to give? What do you have to give? What can you bring to a relationship?
Those were the things I had to learn. And then I had to find a man who was dating a complete loony, so that by comparison my craziness is just fun. ;)
I love your analogies. They are hilarious. Also, you’re afraid of cows?
Brennig Point is i havent found the right person (or have i?) and the wrong ones keep stomping on me…
GingerHey, welcome! Now that is a good idea :)
Kylie “Love is giving someone the power to destroy you. And trusting them not to.” Thats 100% true, its that trust bit i cant get right
Tara Thats what i have to work on in the new year I guess.
Andy Yes, terrified of them. I once met a whole herd on a beach in the outer Scottish islands and had to sit on a big rock for an hour until the moved far enough away for me to run…!
Ah no, I’ll concede that one Wee-H. But stomping isn’t an option. Stay away from the stompers! Aye. :-)