you just call out my name and you know wherever I am
Between the memes and the bandwagon jumping (de-lurking day went well in the end didn’t it? a couple of you outed yourselves anyways!) regular readers of this little blog will know that my most recent bugbear has been my (perceived) lack of friendships. This is part two of that topic, if you aren’t a regular reader or are a goldfish then you can catch up here.
The other night, after guzzling half a bottle of red wine, I may or may not have got myself a little too immersed in Dead Poets Society, started waving my glass at the TV rather violently and shouting to myself “carpe diem! seize the day boys! make your lives extraordinary!” along with Robin Williams.
Ahem.
But a month ago, two weeks ago even, I would have said I needed to take my own drunken advice quick smart before I was swallowed up by the avalanche of clothes that is my bed and never to be seen again. That was until last weekend when I got an invitation to meet up with a fellow blogger who was visiting Edinburgh for the weekend, her of the-best-name-ever, Miss Catspuke. It was time to put my money where my blog is and start my real life with a good old – Carpe Diem! Carpe Diem!
(Ok that’s enough of the DPS references, it’s getting boring and the lovely Robert Sean Leonard is now much better employed in House.)
Actually, I don’t have much to say about the actual meet up apart from Miss CP (and her friends) was lovely and welcoming and not at all scary, and I wish she lived here goddammit; plus Miss CP has been nice enough to blog about it before and after here – you don’t really need a re-hash from me.
But, what really interested me about the night was the reaction of people to how we met. We got bemused, amused, confused, wierded out and a couple of all-out ‘freaks!’ type reactions (from the perma-tanned annoying one btw CP). I’m not sure one person (apart from the pair of us) just went ‘cool’ and moved on.
It seems that whilst we may be caught up in our little world of daily blog posts, readers, blog communities (like BritBloggers and 20sb), the twitter-world and the internet in general, to the outside world we bloggers are a strange unfathomable breed. And do you know what? I forget it all the time.
In many ways outside the blogging world the internet is cool. Cool people use Facebook, cool kids use Bebo, even the coolest people in the world – musicians (ok, that’s debateable) – use Myspace. Social networking is widely agreed to be the future of social contact as we know it. Most people, even if they don’t use twitter, put up a status update now and then – microblogging if you will – plus photos, comments and details of their every day lives for people to view and respond to. Just like blogging.
The difference is social networking (Facebook et al) has yet to step beyond those friends we already have, think we should have or still want to have from school. When was the last time you spoke to all 200 ‘friends’ you have on there? Not very often I expect. But you still count them as friends don’t you? No one looks at you like you are weird for being mates on facebook with someone you haven’t seen since you were six and wouldn’t know what to say to them even if you did meet up.
Dependent on how much you reveal, readers of your blog have a chance to become real friends, whether this is in real life or just online, even more so because they have a massive start over someone you could randomly be introduced to by a friend of a friend or have added on FB. They know, they get it, they understand, and they blog about all that crap too.
Maybe I’m protesting too much the case of blogging, but if I get asked one more time if meeting up was a fellow blogger (and now friend) was a ‘date’ i’m going to scream.
Loud.
Kx
my other half doesn’t understand blogging, he has about a million friends that he sees all the time in real life and can always find a party to go to at a moments notice. yet technically the reason we met was because of people we met on the internet (who fell in love and got married).
people who don’t understand blogging don’t understand the friendships that can be made from it, and how much closer those friends will be no matter their geographical distance.
next time someone asks you if it was a date tell them yes, and then ask them out for coffee with a salacious wink
I agree completely. People were really weird about the whole thing, so any weirdness of the night wasn’t really about us having never met, but other people’s reaction to it. I can’t actually remember permatan saying anything to me about it but hey, that was probably for the best, I was growing tiresome all the questions. It may have ended even more messy than it did.
CP x
I find it is really easy to become friends with people you meet online. And most guys I’ve dated were ones I met online.
Alot of the time, I find it easier just to stay home and chat with online friends, or to read blogs, then to go out in big groups of people. Sometimes the big groups cause me alot of social anxiety. Sometimes I cancel because I just can’t deal with it.
I don’t get why people think meeting people off the internet is so bizarre. To me it just seems to be so much more efficient. Both for meeting friends and potential parters. Rather than having to go on countless horrific dates with people you know nothing about you can get to know people first and decide if you want to even bother leaving the house to see them. I met my boyfriend that way and he’s like my soulmate!
I went to an ‘internet’ meet up way back in 2001. When it was even less cool than it is now. I just don’t get what the big deal is!
My hubs, B, doesn’t “get it”. I will say, “So and so said this….” And he’s all, “Who’s that?” I say, “A blog friend”. He says, “you don’t know them” “Well, yeah really I do!”
Maybe someday he will understand. If not, oh well! I like my blog friends!
It’s a lot less weird among my group of friends, because most of them at least had a LiveJournal in their teens… I think, because I’ve been blogging for TEN YEARS OMG!!!! everyone I know is completely used to me meeting people off of the internet. Even my colleagues, and even my mum!
It’s a lot less weird among my group of friends, because most of them at least had a LiveJournal in their teens… I think, because I’ve been blogging for TEN YEARS OMG!!!! everyone I know is completely used to me meeting people off of the internet. Even my colleagues, and even my mum!
LizSara luckily the Boy does understand blogging, well he does work in publishing so youd expect so. He’s even thinking of doing his own blog, which im encouraging! The friendships and support are great!
CP It probably was for the best! She was annoying and a half. I agree, i dont think meeting you was atall wierd!
Sarcastically I get social anxiety in big groups too as im quite shy, plus partially deaf so i struggle with conversations, most people i know are real extrovert, center of attention type people which doesnt help with wallflower me!
Helen Aww im glad to hear that about the boyfriend, i didnt realise you had met online… I also think you get to know people really well through blogs – more so than normal.
Kylie I like my blog friends too. Everyone but my boyfriend doesnt seem to understand, even though some of them read this blog on a regular basis!
Last year’s girl 10 years?? I thought i was ahead as ive been on this blog for 4. My parents get friends reunited but wouldnt ever understand blogging! Good job tho, i wouldnt want them reading this…!
P.s to all, thanks guys for being lovely bloggy friends
(and, now you can all be sick!)
Yes, we met on some spazzy faux-dating site! Only a handful of people know as i don’t want the judgmental looks and comments.
Like Lis, I too have been blogging for nearly 10 years in one form or another. Terrifying.
I met Stringer on Myspace, which we are both faintly embarrassed by. The official line is that “Tommy Stinson (bass player in the Replacements, and currently Guns n Roses) introduced us” because it was on his page… ;)
I met Stringer on Myspace, which we are both faintly embarrassed by. The official line is that “Tommy Stinson (bass player in the Replacements, and currently Guns n Roses) introduced us” because it was on his page… ;)
Hear hear!
My brother has been making fun of me and my “Internet Friends”, and I can see why he’d be dubious. But when I write a post on my blog, and then someone out there reads my ramblings, and decides to comment, it makes my day. I have far more in common with some of the people I have met through blogging, than I have with people I see every day. Part of it is because I am probably more honest on my blog than I would be with my friends/family. It’s easier to get to know someone better when they are upfront and genuine in how they present themselves.
Blogging is great. I heart it. :)
Hello
Oh hubba hubba! Forget the sportscar, been there, done that, got the T shirt, wore it out, gave it to goodwill.
This blog rocks! I gotta say, that I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,
A definite great read…
- Bill Bartmann
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.
Just wanted to drop you a line to say, I enjoy reading your site. I thought about starting a blog myself but don’t have the time.
Oh well maybe one day….
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