hey ya, you gotta get over it
In my quest to fit in somewhere, anywhere, I came to realise a while ago that the internet is not the world of oddballs the redtop papers like to make out. Without even a slight gag – life would be dull without it. But I have a confession to make. Blogging is my crack. It’s addictive, self harming, depreciative, self confidence bashing piffle. But I can’t stop – and this is why:
1. Even though I stopped wearing my school tie years ago I still feel like i’m stuck in a never ending popularity contest. Me, who cynically came to the conclusion years ago that having lots of friends is more trouble than its worth has developed a burning desire for followers, for comments, for awards.
This has got to stop.
2. Recently, everything I write sounds like a load of self indulgent wank. I don’t sound like me anymore. Somehow i’ve managed to forget that blogging is meant to be personal, about me, how i’m feeling, not about how people respond. Somehow I’ve started writing for an audience.
This has got to stop too.
3. Blogging isn’t just about keeping up with your own blog, but your readers too. But I’ve been over doing it; I thought being a good blogger was to spread myself far and wide, to spread the love, to draw you in with my witty banter. But my comment love has grown thin; I’m struggling to keep up. And to be honest I haven’t the time or inclination to add worrying about the fact that I have failed in this to the list of crazy in my head.
I have to stop feeling bad about this.
So, I just did it; I’ve put my conscience in a locked filing cabinet and I’ve started on the path to breaking the addiction.
No. 1 – mark ‘all as read’.
(Just once, that is all, you can do it)
Yes, I know I’ve probably missed some amazing insightful posts, a lot of rubbish, some sadness and pain, a few Melbourne fire photos, a few look at my amazing life, and even an occasional ‘look at me indulging myself by posting pictures of how hot I am’ posts (I don’t know why I read these ones either, they just make me feel worse about myself).
My reader was just one more thing that was driving me insane. I’ve even deleted a few of the blogs that I regularly just click on by (particularly the ones without full RSS feed, or those on a diet when they aren’t fat).
Ok, yes, I do feel awful; I’m a rather bad blogger, a bad reader and more often than not these days, a bad commenter.
But ill get over it.
Mwah
Kx
You are not a bad blogger. You are lovely. So shush.
Or, alternatively, if mine was one of the blogs you deleted…. boo to you :p
x
I must add, not one person who has ever commented on this blog has been deleted, i have kept you all x
See, im evil, i dont care about potential lurkers, if you dont comment, then you are gone… i NEED comments.
Ok, i better step away from the keyboard ;)
I like to see comments. I like to add comments. But sometimes I don’t know what to say.
I have to say that I’ve been a lazy blogger. I always read but don’t always have something witty to comment. I like when a response just pops in your head while you’re reading. That makes commenting easy! I am like you in that I LOVE to get comments too. I think it is an addiction! Oh well. It shouldn’t kill me, huh?!
Heh… talk about self obessed… my first reaction was to check I was still there! And before that I was going to write a wise comment about writing for yourself. What a bloody hypocrite!
It’s all too easy to type “don’t be so hard on yourself” (ooh look! just did) but harder to put into practice. I suppose it might help just to be aware of when you’re having fun and when you’re not and stop doing the things that aren’t fun. That’s a pretty ok rule I think, and not too hypocritical…
So many of us seem to be beating ourselves up about not keeping up with our readers and not commenting enough. I’m the same. I’m finally getting round to reading this two weeks after you posted it…
And sometimes we really con’t know what to say. When I first got into the blogosphere, I tried hard to comment on everything, often just leaving a ‘great post!’ to salve my conscience and to let the blogger know that someone was reading and enjoying their posts. But that doesn’t really add any value to the post. So many great and insightful posts keep turning up, and I don’t feel comfortable commenting unless I actually have something to say other than ‘great post’. So I sit there for ages thinking ‘it’s such a great post I have to write something!’ and and then leave feeling horribly guilty.
As you say, we should just get over the guilt! It’s ok not to comment all the time! Now to practice not feeling guity…
Better to have blogged and been bad than never blogged at all.