Everything they told me not to is exactly what I would
I am an addict, I have an addictive personality.
Whether its cigarettes (15 years and counting), twiddling my air, chewing my lip, shagging around (that one has recently been broken), daily wine drinking; I do addiction with serious aplomb. (and i’m not mentioning the bad stuff…)
But my worst addiction – social media sites.
I’ve travelled through Myspace, Bebo and now Facebook, landing recently on Twitter. Like any addict I become bored quickly, always looking for a new fix, the starting up of a page, connecting to new people, building an identity and like everyone else, catching up old school friends lost in the sands of time; occasionally in a bitchy laugh – who got fat after school – kind of way.
But the addiction has changed recently; what i though was social freedom has turned into social paranoia, social inadequacy, social fear.
Social media lets you find out your flatmate has found a new flat before she tells you herself; or let you read ex-friends conversations about their forthcoming weekend that you know you are no longer invited to; or worst of all lets you find out your ex has got a new partner, is getting married, having a baby.
So, instead of allowing the internet to crack me up, to turn it into an obsession rather than on an addiction, I need an ntervention.
But what to do?
Should I remove all accounts, isolating myself? Or should I remove all those to which no sane person should be connected to – ex friends and ex’s which have leave sharp pains in my heart?
Do others out there feel the same way? How do you deal with the social paranoia these sites bring along with them? Is it ok to just opt out? Will I be missing out? Should I just deal with it?
Any advice and experience out there with this new kind of malaise is very welcome…
Kx
I have an addictive personality too. So does Chris. We’re both absolute terrors and have taken our debaucherous behaviour to extremes because of it in the past. I think we were actually addicted to each other for a while, if that’s possible.
As I said on twitter earlier (ha, how ironic), I actually think social media websites can cause more trouble than they’re worth. I have been very close to deleting facebook on more than one occasion. I deleted myspace long ago. One of my best friends found my twitter the other day and, by virtue, my blog. Not sure how I feel about it really but it’s happened :/
You should stop worrying about what other people are doing. Stop worrying whether they like you. Stop worrying about what they’re doing. Stop worrying about them full stop. Cut loose and run free.
CP x
Delete the people on those sites who are causing you upset and then you can’t ever look again because even if you invite them again, they probably won’t accept.
It’s for the best – who cares anyway!
I know that’s easier said than done but remember the good life you have around you and forget them – they’ve forgotten you xxx
Thanks guys… Me! Harsh, but fair, they have forgotten about me, thats obvious!
[...] ShawnDrewry.com wrote an interesting post today on Everything they told me not to is exactly what I wouldHere’s a quick excerptBut my worst addiction – social media sites. I’ve travelled through Myspace, Bebo and now Facebook, landing recently on Twitter. [...]
I too have a very addictive personality. I smoke, drink, cuss, bite my nails…the list goes on and on and on! I have accepted people as friends and then decided later to delete them. That’s how I weed out the ones I really don’t care to see/hear about! :)
Utilise the ‘less of’ button on facebook. You can get rid of all the people who you don’t want to see stories about, and just have them from those you do. And talk to your mates more on the phone. I use facebook a lot, but I’m always texting and calling my mates so that the friendship is more than status updates.
I’d take those people off, rather than delete your sites as a whole… but then, I find them so useful because everybody I know uses them!
“…should I remove all those to which no sane person should be connected to – ex friends and ex’s which have leave sharp pains in my heart?”
Yes!! Keeping up with these people is always going to cause you pain so do a bit of a purge. Delete all those people who you wouldn no longer stop on the street to have a conversation with. And while you’re at it it, delete all those annoying fuckers (oops, f-bomb) who send you stupid applications! It’ll feel like a spring clean, I promise.
xx
I agree with Catspuke. Wish I had more to add…
xx
Helen Yikes! has your best friend said anything to you about it? If its out in the open i guess its cool, i just didnt like the fact mine never said anything to me about reading. Or asked if i was ok in real life!
Catspuke Great advice, but easier said than done!
Kylie Ill def be having some kind of clear out, i do it on twitter, its just wierd doing it to people i actually know on FB.
Jo I didnt know about this – so thanks! To be honest i hardly use FB myself to contact people myself, but most of my friends are obsessed with it, some times im glad i have my blog to write to. Im personally over my FB obsession, was just deciding whether to purge myself of it.
LY’sG I agree, they are useful, whoever invented them in the first place should be shot. Im a luddite, i hate this kind of communication really. No one talks to each other for real anymore!
Newbie Hahaha, or groups that send you hundreds of messages! I hate them too…
kx
Hi. i know what you mean. I habitually look through people i used to knows blogs. its hard when they are ex friends who have forgotten about you and moved on with their lives., one of my oldest bestest friends who had been out of the country came back to get married and didnt even bother to let me know about it never mind invite me. I found that hard. I really like your blog. It talks about stuff that is how i feel too. thanks for writing!