Mother, you had me but I never had you
If you don’t mind I think ill keep on the topic of children for a moment longer, this Sunday is Mother’s Day here in the UK. Although its now been hijacked like most meaningful days by the card companies, Mother’s Day has special meaning for me, as I have two mums to thank.
It’s no secret that I am adopted, but I rarely write about it, (you can read my only other post on the subject here). My parents were open about it as far back as I can remember – it was hard to miss, my sister is an Amazonian Kate Moss lookalike whilst I look like a pixie – and indeed the first book I learnt to read was entitled “I am adopted” (I was trying to find a link, but it was from the 70s). There is no scandal, no deep seated pain; my childhood was as good as I could have hoped for, weeks can go by without me thinking about it.
But every year, along comes Mother’s Day and I start to write a post on my adoption. Every year I delete it, thrash it, forget it, I think the process of writing about it is enough for me to remember how lucky I am.
But this year it will mean she has missed 30 years of Mother’s Days, 30 years of watching me grow up. She should be here with me when I contemplate starting my own family; she should be smiling at the thought of being a grandma, just like my adopted mum is doing with her daughter right now.
So this year, I just wanted to say Happy Mother’s Day, to you mum.
Ex
xxx
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Oh wow, a tear just dropped from my eye.
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I wish you the best of luck in your search if you decide to continue it. I don’t really know what to say except that you seem like a very well rounded woman and that obviously comes from your mum that raised you. Everything happens for a reason…you have the parents you have because that was your path in life. *hugs*
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Just went back and read your previous post… yeah, I’m a bit teary now too.
Hugs xx
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Lots of love to you Katy, you can borrow my mum for the day xxxx
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This is a really emotional, well-written post. There’s an award for you waiting on my blog so feel free to follow the tag up if you like!
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This is so bittersweet… I’m sure wherever she is, she’s thinking of you, too.
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This is beautiful and touching. It is so lovely that you still think of her.
(PS. I know I’ve been awful at being a good bloggie commenter. Very sorry I’ve fallen so drastically behind
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Its difficult as i cant begin to understand how you feel. All i can offer is that your adopted mum must be brilliant. She chose you and that makes you really special to her.
You bio mum has never earned the name Mum from you. I am sure it still hurts.
The letters that you write and delete with help. Maybe keep them and file them away to re read when you are ready.
I can understand that this time of year has mixed emotions for you. x
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Thanks all,
Its not that it ‘hurts’ per se. She hasnt hurt me really, it was circumstance that did it, not a lack of love. I know this for sure, baby at unmarried – wrong – 16 in the 1970s – very wrong – catholic – very very wrong. No win.
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