A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me
I get stuck on routine; this is why I have never been able to give up smoking. If my routine gets thrown out; I have a very bad day. Smoking has been my crutch for years, my bad habit,the bad side of me, my refuge i turn to when i am upset. Somehow i feel that smoking has defined the last 15 years of my life. But its not the expense, the smell, the disgustiness of it that is making me give up. Smoking has actually, finally, after 15 years had a negative impact on my health (ok the one that they have found), its time to stop.
Now this, as any smoker will know, is far from easy. My smoking habit is – 1 with coffee in the morning, 1 walking to work, 1 at lunch time, 1 walking to the bus stop after work, 1 when I get home, 1 after tea and 1 or 2 before bed = about 8-10 cigs a day (dependent on wine intake, when it increases exponentially). Up to now I have tried: willpower (lasted about a week), The Allen Carr method (lasted 2 weeks), and then willpower again (lasted 3 weeks). So on Tuesday I went to the doc’s and begged for NHS help. The prescription – patches; but the ‘step 3′ ones – the lowest dose; because despite the fact I am a dedicated 15 year smoker, it seems that as I smoke so little, NRT isn’t really set up for me.
Today is day one.
And I have a headache; my brain isn’t connecting properly in the part that remembers words, or sentences or thoughts beyond a second. The amount of nicotine in my system is twice what I usually imbibe in one day and it’s sending me mental. I feel like a teenager who has just had her first ciggy, woosy, headspinny, drugged. All I can think about right now is ripping off the patch and sticking the cancer stick in my mouth to get back to normal.
I’m not sure how that this is going to actually work, surely you are meant to cut down on nicotine?
Kx
I feel your pain. I have been trying to quit for a while now. So far I have managed to limit myself to 5 ciggs a day since I’ve been off work. I think that’s pretty good for being home all day long and a former pack-a-day smoker.
Best of luck…I’m with you on this one 100%!!! :)
wow you smoke much less than i used to. i quit 3 years ago in May from a 20-30 a day, 12 year habit. i’d tried cutting down and i’d tried patches etc but the only thing that made me do it wa a health scare and going cold turkey for a week. i tried one after that…just to see…and it was disgusting.
Don’t get me wrong i still crave now, but i will never go back to doing that again, ever!
I quit about five years ago, from a hefty pack a day habit. I think I quit about five times before I really made it. Be gentle with yourself and hang in there.
My mum’s Lenten challenge this year is to give up smoking during the day. She’s not quitting entirely yet, because she thinks going completely cold turkey is a challenge too far and she won’t be able to stick to it yet, but she sees this as the first step – plus she’s benefitting charity in the process, I’m giving SCIAF £1 for every day she makes it til 4pm and so far her record is perfect!
My mum’s in the same position as you in that she really doesn’t smoke enough to be addicted to the nicotine – it’s the routine. She’s had to cut back on things like smoking with a cup of coffee after 4pm when she’s allowed to smoke, because that’s a habit that makes not smoking in the mornings doubly hard. It’s difficult, but she’s getting there with masses of willpower. And I know you can too!
Uggg. Sending good vibes (and steady nerves) in your direction, lady!
I used to smoke 30 a day. Gitanes. Or Gauloises if I couldn’t get Gitanes. I did 30 a day for umm (counts momentous events) about 12 years. Gave it up for the love of a good woman and without patches or substitutes. Except sex, I seem to remember there was a lot of sex during the giving up phase.
Anyway, 15 years later and I’m still off them. And the good woman is off me; we went separate ways within a couple of years of getting together. Ho hum.
I haven’t ever been a smoker, but I have watched those around me try to quit. Maybe there are some support groups in your area that you can go to for in-person moral support? Also, do us a favor and continue to chronicle your journey on your blog. I think you’ll find there’s a pretty amazing online support network already built into your daily life!
so i smoked 15 a day for 10 years. I tried giving up 2 years ago and failed after 3 months. This time it is 8 months since i gave up. In that time i think i have had 8 cigarettes, and all of them i started and then put out because it was horrible. I had to do it in the end with just pure willpower and nothing else. I decided that you had to really want to do it or it won’t work. good luck! x