Forgive me for any snippy behaviour I might exhibit today; I’m fully aware its PMT, I don’t need to be told for the third time. Right now I’m sitting at my desk itching, fidgiting, sitting like a battery hen reading the driest new policy ever written by the Scottish Government. Time is passing far too slowly and not just because i’m off to visit my new kitten again tonight, nor because I haven’t seen The Boy in 3 days*.

For some reason nothing is getting done, nothing is going in right now, it’s Mañana, Mañana, Mañana. In fact, I actually think that right now i’m stuck on a red light waiting for an inept council official to come and fix it for me. I’ve been sat here so long its way passed the time i should have realised walking was the way forward. But no, im still sitting here.

Recently, i’ve stopped caring about most things; not just my work – I have yet to employ a decorator for my house; I have yet to sort out a gardener; me and the new flatmate have yet to go out for a drink; I haven’t organised his housewarming party. It’s all yet, yet, yet!!

(Easily sorted I guess if I get my brain in gear, get off my ass and do it… sort of like how i’ve failed at going to the gym)

But there is a small niggle in the back of my mind that is telling me that this malaise goes a whole lot deeper than a minor laziness and a desire not to spend money on a house that my ex is going to sell from underneath me in a couple of years time (really, tell me why should I bother?)

Honestly though, i do know the reason; I’m bored. Deep down, bored… I’m sick of waiting for the right time to sell the house so I can get out of this country, i’m sick of waiting for the boy to be old enough to want to move his life to the next level (a kitten is a patch, not a solution, however cute). Relationship wise I cant shake off these negative energies that have been hanging around since I broke up with my ex, I cant stop seething that he’s getting married (or reading about it on facebook) or for some reason feeling dissapointed that a well known blogger is getting his moment in the sun (ok, thats a bit wrong of me, im just jealous of the excitement).

My life isn’t triumphant, full of success and sunshine and promotions at work; its stagnating and crushing instead. I’m not just unsatisfied with my life but completely and utterly over it.

But what is really pissing me off is that I thought i’d finally caught some happy.

But like I said, don’t blame this on PMT.

I warn you.

*and yes i am talking about needing a shag, i’m in no way that needy