Ok, I’m a bit stuck right now for posts so I’m plagiarising topics (it’s ok if you admit it isn’t it?), anyways, clicking through to Lora’s blog i found a link to a project by Mara where every week she is “going to post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend” as, as she puts it, there is this “sad fact that there are so many wonderful, beautiful and competent women who suffer from low self-esteem”. But, whilst I’m giving them both props for the idea (i think its a great idea) I’m a little uncomfortable praising myself, its too American for my English sensibilities, a little Oprah.

Maybe I’m missing the point, that my so called self esteem issues wont let me see the good in me, let alone write about them. But i’m going to give it a go, see where it takes me. But instead of taking up Mara’s challenge (i’m crap at following through) I’m going to follow Lora’s lead and try for just 5. Just 5 little compliments. After everything i’ve been through recently i guess i deserve them.

1) I know my own body to the point that i can make any man i fancy give me an orgasm. I might be on the wrong side of 30 but there are benefits of time passing, of getting older. Life is far too short not to enjoy yourself in bed. (if you haven’t read the full story of this, head over to the Secret Lady Garden, you can find the story of my enlightenment here, and p.s i no longer need props…)

2) I make an excellent parent. So what that I’m a parent to two cats (whilst not being a cat person, i just couldn’t see Fin the tomcat i adopted going to a cat home) or the fact that i’m so not ready for the real thing, but I’m proud that they are happy, healthy, loving and still alive. Unlike every house plant I’ve ever owned and the fact i seem to have an inability to maintain long term relationships (yet).

3) I’m honest. With myself, with friends, with my parents, with boyfriends. It might take me a while to be honest in terms of telling something to their face, but i’m always honest in my actions towards them. This is very much something i have learnt over the years; people can change to be honest in their actions and for this im proud of myself.

4) I don’t play games. To me, game player are the worst form of low life. For what end do you need to play games? To confuse, to disappoint, to shame in the end. Like honesty, not playing games leads to an openness that in life is rarely achieved. If i like you, i like you, i don’t need to waste time pretending i don’t.

5) I’m pragmatic. What’s done is done, what’s real is real, what’s black is black, what’s white is white. Maybe my pragmatism comes from the honesty and the lack of game playing and maybe it means i never sit on the fence, but it means you always know where you are with me. There are no grey areas to me.

Maybe some of these positives have a negative, everything in life does. You can’t walk out on your path and expect everything to be perfect. These traits make me, me. They give me my quirks, my personality, they make me the person that has doubts, that gets scared. But i can always come back to this post, to look at this starting point, the point that i can now move onwards and upwards from.

Kx