In such an expansive language as ours, there are few words that beat the word ‘cheat’ for venomous synonyms (a charlatan, conniver, enticer, masquerader, or rascal?); Our language paints such people as double-dealers that scam, screw (literally) and fiddle (literally, mark 2) their way through life and that for this there is no acceptable excuse.

It may be a truth universally acknowledged that some people have significantly more self-esteem issues than most, but can cheating ever really ever be “it’s not you, it’s me”? Can someone’s low regard for themselves drive them to see such behaviour as a part of themselves; that cheating is just an old habit that would die very hard? Whilst a lack of self esteem is today accepted as a common cause of a multitude of human misdemeanours, using it as an excuse for being sexually unfaithful is not.

I guess this post is a kind confession, for I was that person; a cheat who never took responsibility for the fact that the person she was with just might not have been the right one and blamed it on ‘issues’ instead. Yes, I did say was; for this might have been a weekend filled with smiles and sex and hopes for anniversaries to come, but it also marked the passing of a secret milestone; an old habit I’m happy to have died hard.

For this weekend marked one year that I stopped saying “it’s not you, it’s me”, and started accepting the real reality – “it’s not me, it’s you”.

And that for me is a very large step forward.

Kx