I hope it haunts me til I’m hopeless, I hope it hits you when you go, and sometimes on the edge of sleeping, it rises up to let me know
One of the worst parts of the end of a relationship has to be the re-hash. You’ve just got over the humiliation of being suddenly single, when only the night before you had been lovingly singing his praises, and then you have to spend night after night consuming wine with friends dissecting exactly why he did it. And thinking of all the reasons you hadn’t actually thought about…and feeling even more humiliated…and angry.
(Actually, i’m now possibly more angry than humiliated…and I want to rip each of his extremely long eyelashes out….)
(…no man should have eyelashes that obscenely long, I did NOT appreciate them being longer than mine.)
Anyways, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we feel the need to discuss break ups in minute detail, he said, she said, were you drunk? why, why, god dam why?? To be honest, I would quite liked to have stay oblivious to all the things that might have gone wrong, all the myriad of reasons that it might actually have been my fault, not his. Wouldn’t that be a double humiliation, being dumped because of something you did? Nice.
Maybe it’s just a girl thing, one of the many activities that we bond over; (which also includes lip gloss, willy size and designer shoes…) the relationship dissection is a right of passage, as while it makes you feel 10 times worse, it allows all your friends a smug glow of happiness that their man would not turn out like yours no sir-eee (of course, they nearly always do in some way or an other, so you can eventually get your own back)
(ok, that bit is a joke, dont hit me for suggesting there might be any smugness involved)
(its just me that might have been smug. Once. and i didnt really like her to begin with)
So now, I have to spend a stupid amount of time persuading myself that it’s not my fault, I did not get dumped because of ‘me’ and that I am fabulous.
…and then maybe I might just bitch some more, because bitching (and eyelash pulling) is fun.
Kx
P.s Girls (ok, and guys) why the hell do we do this to ourselves??
I think the anger helps us get over the hurt. I think. It helps me, at least.
I can better deal with a loss if I’m mad over it rather than sad.
Girls discuss the size of their Willies? I have never dated a girl with a Willie before…
As for Anger, it is good and makes it easy to move on. The frustrating break ups can be where there is no anger and you are left feeling like nothing has happened and wondering whay you were together in the first place.
I think anger means you were involed and that is a healthy thing.
PS: you are fabulous and it is always the other perons fault/willie size/infidelity or lack of sexdrive that causes a break up.
I had a thing with a girl for a couple of weeks and we hardly had sex because of the size of my willy. Poor girl struggled to get it in. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, boys.
We do it because we need to know why they did what they did. If there isn’t a clear reason for the break-up we need to find some reason other than they just felt like it. We re-hash over and over again because we need some kind of closure and boys suck at actually giving us reasons behind their decisions.
What Lizsara said!
Thanks guys.
Lora i hear what you are saying, it hurts me too and when a break up happens as randomly as this one, talking to your mates about it is the only way that anger comes…
Josh thank you, i am fabulous, i might not always feel it but i am.
Bren always there to make me smile :)
Lizsara and PJB you are both dead right. I havent really had closure yet. I’m denying it
Anyways, i was going to have some kind of 1000th comment competition, but considering this is my 1000th comment on this blog, then go me, i win all ways! well done me!
Kx
As has already been said, without proper closure we tend to run things through our heads too much and overthinking is never good.
To modify Lizsara’s comment a little, I think *people* are bad at giving reasons for splits. Often because the reasons are selfish, and make them feel bad themselves.
Talking things out is just part of the process. Better that than bottling things up. Just spread it around so you don’t send one poor friend to the crazy house!