one day a star will be ascendant…
First up i’d just like to thank you all for all the comments, emails and texts over the last few days, you are all stars. As an update, I’m doing fine…still needing to blog about things so bear with me for just a little while longer, or send me a meme so I can think about something else for a while. Either will do.
Secondly, if you missed it in my last post, my last comment was the 1000th comment on this blog, so go me! Thanks to all of you who have commented over the last year or so, I had no idea people would ever start reading my weird corner of the internets but stick around now you are here! x
Anyways, with the news out the way, today’s blogging topic was to be all about being single; but considering I have only been single for 4 days in the last 9 years, it didn’t seem very appropriate. But then when have I ever shied away from being inappropriate?
(Ok, around my mum, my boss or in church doesn’t count. Although I did once shag my boss in front of a full glass window of a skyscraper in Belfast which isn’t exactly appropriate…ahem)
Even if i’m really not qualified to talk about it, one thing I have realised about being single is that I don’t like it. Yes I know it’s only been 4 days, but come on, being single is fundamentally shit.
Basically:
I have no one who texts me to say ‘good night baby xx’ or ‘good morning honey xx’,
I have no one to email stupid jokes to me all day,
I hate cooking for one person; in fact I can’t cook for one person,
I have no one to go and see shit movies like Transformers with (not a girls film),
The kitten has no one to terrorise but me (or more honestly no one but me to get up at 7 and feed her),
There is no one to take the bins out or pop to the shop for chocolate and fags and wine, and
If I have PMT there is no one to run me a bath, make me a hot chocolate and give me cuddles in bed…
Yeah I am joking about all the superficial shit, but honestly, i’m sulking. I’m drinking and smoking too much and sleeping too little and generally looking bloody awful and puffy. I now have no motivation for exercise as wallowing on the sofa is too desirable. I have greying hair, an expanding middle and I’m 31. Plus my summer holiday has been cancelled and I have to be single at another family party, again.
I’m also extremely horny and my vibrator does not cut it.
See being single is sheee-iiiite.
Is there really light at the end of this tunnel.. ? Is it really this shit? or is the answer just to have a one night stand to get rid of the hornyness (as if im honest thats the biggest problem) and get over it….
Kx
It’s not always that shit….it can be lots of fun…you just need to get out and about with your friends and eye up some hotties x
I agree being single is shit, but as I’ve been single as long as you’ve been with someone over the last nine years, I’d have to say to you, “there’s plenty worse off out here”. I also know this won’t necessarily be of any solace to you at present, but being single does have a decent amount of upsides, not least of which, doing what you want when you want!!
Please accept these heartfelt ‘cyberhugs’ from a long term Lonely heart. I’ve seen your pics, and read your blogs, so I can’t believe you’ll be alone for too long, unless you decide you want to be of course.
Meanwhile, keep your friends wrapped tightly round you for a while, I’m sure they’ll enjoy the extra time with you
xx
Being single isn’t shit at all. I honestly don’t mind it! Which is why I take the ‘fussy stance’ and am a bit selective with my potential suitors, heh. I won’t sacrifice this life of freedom for just any old so’n'so, y’know.
The thing is, I don’t actually ‘need’ any man in my life in order to feel complete. Sure, it’s nice to have one from time to time…but then I actually do appreciate the added benefits of a relationship, rather than expect them to be the norm.
This is the thought that keeps me contented in my singledom…being in a relationship can be fabulous. It can feel amazing at times. Like you’re on top of the world! But equally, it’s a rollercoaster ride, and can also leave you in the pits of despair, anger, fury and depression when it all goes tits up. And that’s not just when it ends…certain relationships come with that as standard. Yup, you get the great feeling when you make up again – but you have to go through the hell to get back to that. So you take the rough with the smooth…not necessarily for the faint hearted!
Being single on the other hand…well, there are no plunging death drops. There’s nobody who can upset your emotional balance. There’s nobody who can infuriate you and knock your mood off course for the day. You’re not depending on somebody else’s actions in order to make you feel good about yourself, and equally, somebody else’s negative actions can’t make you feel bad about yourself either. My life is always soooo much more stable when I’m single. And I’m generally more functional too.
Of course there’s that transitional period when you’re going from being in a relationship to being single again, which is hell. It’s the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and ‘how can I cope alone’…which actually, soon evaporates when you settle into the new routine. Then it can be rather liberating to realise that you don’t actually ‘need’ anybody else at all!
So there are pros and cons to each. With relationships comes companionship, but it can be a rollercoaster ride, and often gut wrenching sickness and heartache goes alongside it…it’s that feeling of knowing your heart and happiness is resting in another person’s hands, and could fall apart at any time and you’d have no say in that (but if it works, it’s excellent!). The single life does lack that one-on-one companionship, but you make up for it with having excellent friends around, and keeping your social calendar busy. You actually need to be proactive as a single person, and don’t take things for granted. You’re responsible for your own happiness, nobody else can snatch it away, so it’s a lot more secure. And, if the right person comes along? Then, you’ll openly welcome them and know that you’re with them because you really want to be. Not because you’re just too scared of being alone.
Chin up missus!
Being single can be great!….
# We don’t have to fight for remote control ownership.
# We don’t have to wash their smelly socks and skiddy underwear.
# There are no pairs of shoes left in the middle of the floor to trip over at six in the morning.
# We can lie in the bath for as long as we want.
# We don’t put a wash on and then find ten articles of clothing belonging to him lying in heap in the corner of the bedroom.
# We don’t have to fake an orgasm.
# We don’t have to shave and can turn into yetis if we want.
# We don’t have to buy and write our own Valentines/birthday/Mother’s day cards.
# We don’t have anyone saying ‘you’re not going to wear that, are you?’
# We don’t have to suffer their cooked meals and then spend an hour trying to get the burnt, congealed mess of the bottom of our saucepans.
# I love not being accountable to anyone – if I want to do something, I just do it!
# I control my finances and if I screw up, it’s my fault, not because my man has spent money we need down the pub, bookies, etc.
# I enjoy sleeping in my double bed and having it all to myself.
# I can be moody without anyone trying to find out if something’s wrong! If I don’t want to talk – I just won’t!
# I have FREEDOM to choose.
x
Massive sympathies. The cooking for one thing is maximum suckage, it’s the one thing about being single that I really hate and, as a consequence, therefore I eat very badly.
But the emaily texty things are cute. But v.annoying when your phone goes off with a ‘Thinking of snuggling up to your lovely bottom’ message when you’re in a critical meeting.
It is indeed shitty as it is amazing the effect a morning or goodnight text can have. :( x
Thanks for all the positive responses, i do know there are some benefits of being single, not least i get to eye up men (although im scared of how weird single men my age might be). I’m just not used to it thats all; and it will take some time to get used to it. Having all the free time to worry about myself rather than someone else is the least of it.