1 phone number from a cute guy, i’m far from ready, but its flattering all the same

2 nights out to wash that man right out of my hair and send him on his way

3 unexpected emails asking to keep in touch

4 times a few tears might have leaked out whilst in public

5 bitter texts sent whilst drunk on night one of washing that man right out of my hair

6 months – the time that i’ve been told it will take me to get over him

7 long days since we broke up

8 empty wine bottles sitting next to the kitchen bin

9 pounds i think i have put on eating junk, i thought break ups were meant to make you thin

10 chick flicks watched to cheer myself up with Hollywood type movie happiness

11 times the ‘long time ago very sexy ex’ texted me last night for a booty call, i didn’t. I was tempted though, wouldn’t you be?

12 times i’ve changed my mind about going to my sisters birthday party as the older spinster (i’m going)

13 months since i’ve had sex with anyone but him

14 times i have listened to Bright Side of the Road by Van Morrison (From the dark end of the street, to the bright side of the road)

100 times i’ve said “actually i’m fine”

140 cigarettes smoked in the last week, disgusting. £42 that i could have spent on a new hair cut for a new me instead,

141 times i wished i didn’t need smoking as a crutch

1000 times i have been thankful for the last year, but wished that the time when i will look back and remember only the happy memories would hurry up.