As a child I loved ‘choose your own adventure’ books. I suppose they appealed to my precocious nature – I wanted to choose, I wanted to be in control, I wanted life to be exciting, full of possibilities, full of choices that I made.
But deep down I never actually let my decisions in the book guide me – I always cheated. I was always jumping four steps ahead, sussing out the possible endings; by holding on tightly to the pages you could always jump forward, check out the risky paths, safe in the knowledge you could always turn back and try again.
My favourite book was called Inside UFO 54-40 (thanks wiki for reminding me of the name) which had a ‘happy ever after’ paradise that you could never reach by conventional c-y-o-a means. Only by searching every page of the book could you come across the page.
Bear with me here- I know this is a huge smack in the face metaphor, but this book taught me more about what life is really like more than anything else.
Happy ever after is always there, out of reach, but within touching distance from daily life. No amount of making the correct choices will ever get you there. No back stepping, changing your mind, red lights, starting afresh will ever get you any closer to it.
Sometimes you just have to stop following paths, stop making decisions and let your mind wander alone. Maybe you might then just happen upon it instead.
This is what i remind myself of when the path ahead seems so very hard.
Kx
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Protected: to point the finger or lay the blame and welcome you to the cheap seats
Regulars, twitter folk, friends and lurkers – Miss Smidge needs you!
As you will know (as i have been going on about it plenty) i am off on holiday very so on and i need your help.
So, this is the challenge.
Up to now this blog has been all about me.
Whilst i am away i want to make it all about you!
I am looking for guest posters to write about themselves – it can be about any topic, as long as you are the focus – your hopes, dreams, fears and issues. Make it real!
If you are up for it/brave enough then drop me a line at the above contacts.
(if it really is ‘real’ and you aren’t brave enough to post it under your real name then i’m happy to receive anonymous posts!)
Kx
P.s dress (but in black) and shoes for wedding bought yesterday… what do you think?
Despite living in one of the world’s greatest cities (best place to live in the UK dontcha know) I don’t live here like a tourist. I don’t ‘do the festival’ unless it’s to drink, I don’t ‘do the castle’ unless it’s to drink, and i certainly don’t ‘do Arthur’s Seat’ unless i’ve had a lot to drink.
I don’t need to be a tourist here – I live here; I have my cafes, i have my bars, i have the places i like to hang out. I avoid the Grassmarket at the best of times, the Royal Mile, not for me; of course i can see a certain prettiness, but in August it’s disguised by flyers and posters and various drama students out stupefying each other.
Any visitor my fair city is in for a lot of drinking if they wish to force me to do any of the above without me stabbing one of the many resident yah’s in the back.
(That’ll you be you then Helen)
But occasionally the festival brings a moment of karma that puts a smile on your face for days…like accidentally slamming a portaloo door into the face of the very annoying yah who had been sitting behind me at the Pete Firman magic show kicking my seat and snivelling at the scottishness of my friends and the amount of drink we had brought in…
(it WAS by accident…honest)
(loved it)
(seriously loved it)
(daddy will buy you a new nose anyways)
(and maybe a hairbrush)
Anyways, drinking a lot of booze is Scottish. As is speaking with a Scottish accent. As is finding things funny. As is laughing loudly. As is NOT being stuck up, rude and so stuck in your own bubble that ‘doing edinburgh’ is the most fun you’ll ever have.
Karma is a bitch love.
Kx
P.s. she didn’t really need a new nose.
P.p.s I had a wicked wicked time this weekend with Helen of With Eyes Wide Open. If anyone is like her blog in real life its her. Total star.
P.p.p.s… saying “we are just here to drink” is an excellent way to get rid of flyer-ers.
P.p.p.p.s…normal blogging service will resume shortly. I am working 10 hour days right now.