We all know beauty is more than just skin deep, more than fashion images show us what beauty is, more than make up, clothes and special underwear; but if we are honest (and realistic!) not a single one of us actually feels beautiful in the morning, although most of us do last thing at night after a few beverages.
How we dress is intrinsically what makes us, us. It’s how we show the world who we are, what we stand for, who we associate with. But the world asks for different faces, different personas, different attitudes. In the day, whilst i am trying to be an adult, to be taken seriously, i’m boring, bland, black and blue. I know that i should dress to be noticed, that style in the workplace can often mean substance, but i feel focusing on fashion takes the focus away from what i do best – work.
Fashion is for the times when i am not being defined by my job. Fashion is for when i wish to define who i really am. But with revealing the real me comes a fear. I want my clothes to show confidence, but i am not confident, i want my clothes to show i am stylish, but i am not stylish. I want my clothes to show that i care about myself, but i am lazy – i am not even basic maintenance, let alone high maintenance.
I have a wardrobe of clothes that i feel could define me. Clothes that project a silhouette of a sexy, confident woman who knows herself. I have a wardrobe of high heals, skinny jeans, figure hugging tops, sexy shapes, body hugging, body fitting, stylish clothes.
Which i never wear.
Outside of the house anyway.
So, time to take a step forward. I have 2 major fashion events coming up and im going to give the real me a try. I might never live up to the fashion magazine idea of beauty, but i can be beautiful me.
Kx
P.s… How do you feel about fashion? Are you fashionable at work? Do you feel being fashionable is for work or for those times when you can really be yourself. Do you really dress for yourself? Do you even care about fashion or put as much emphasis on it as i do?
P.p.s this is just as relevant for guys too, style + fashion (not high heals and body hugging clothes…)
A long time a go I told my mother that I had never been happy; when I call my mother having had a bad day, I can hear that she remembers it, down the line, in her voice. I can know she worries about me, that I never seem to grab life with both hands and throw myself at it.
But, something stops me. I always worry about how other people see me, not how i see myself and how I face the world. I understand now that whilst being happy relies much on other people’s actions for the good times in your life, those good times won’t happen unless you are happy. Catch 22.
I guess as I have got older that I have accepted my lot. I’m never going to be the life and soul of the party – I’m too controlled. I’m never going to be popular – I’m too self absorbed. I’m never going to be flamboyant, I’m never going to be exuberant, I’m never going to be happy happy HAPPY.
But I can enjoy the small things, but I can be the best friend you have ever had, I can be there for you when you need me, at any time, I can big you up, I can give advice, I can make a mean cosmopolitan for the days you just want to forget. And I can remember that doing all these things these days make me happy. And that’s’ all I need to be happy.
One day i might even reach out and grab the other things I deserve.
Kx
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P.s In amongst the mundane, this week has provided me with a number of bright sparks, ending with the homemade cosmopolitans my friend I and I consumed on Saturday night whilst discussing (read: gossiping) multiple topics, not least my last couple of blog posts. The chat helped clear my head, indeed, I feel happier with the current situation than I have in a long time – I guess a good start was me accepting that I was passing the blame of my funk on to someone else. So thanks to all of you who commented, listened, emailed and helped me out. Thank you x
P.p.s Im rather excited as i might have a new writing job(?) coming soon… watch this space.
P.p.p.s Girls – head over to Secret Lady Garden where we have a new post from Ria liani so go check it out, i’ll be back soon with a new post myself…
right here right now
Angle of the mirror so carefully aligned, wardrobe full of tricks and illusions…
We are all superficial creatures; humans (and animals) are visual in nature, particularly when it’s to do with the rules of attraction.
(Of course attraction is made up of a lot of elements – but how someone looks is always the first on the list – which is why I kinda like Dating in the Dark – it just proves the theory that looks will always trump personality)
Us women with our need to be emotionally understood just don’t get that men see things a lot more simply – or to put it more controversially – more superficially. Looks for men are important – looks with regards to sexual feelings are even more so.
(Men watch porn, we women read porn. Ok, this doesn’t fit into the square box i’m describing all that well – women in porn aren’t usually great looking, but they do have a certain ‘sexy look’)
We women always seem to demand that our men love us ‘however we look’; that unwashed hair, greying pants and baggy trackies is a good look. It isn’t.
How come women see nothing strange about with dressing up to go out with our friends on a night out – fake tan, fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake height, fake tummies, fake boobs? Is it because women demand these things? Actually, no, we women insist that we should be loved the same however we look. To us, dressing up is just a superficial sheen; it’s not us, it’s a just a bit of fun.
The dressing up, whilst it does make you feel good I must admit, is always for men. Subconsciously we know men are superficially creatures and in fact love this superficial side of us.
Not that men see our dressing up as superficial – they see the hot sexy chick they met in a club as ‘us’. That’s the one with the post break up weight loss, designer pulling gear and all the fakery that imbeds our sexy asses into their minds after just one drink. That’s the one he met, fancied, and then fell in love with. However much love depends on emotions and connections and a love of match of the day on Saturday nights – that sexy look is how he sees you. And will always see you.
And why we complain about this – ill never know….
Kx
P.s – girls and guys – any views?