My life began when happy smiled, Sweet, like candy to a child
A long time a go I told my mother that I had never been happy; when I call my mother having had a bad day, I can hear that she remembers it, down the line, in her voice. I can know she worries about me, that I never seem to grab life with both hands and throw myself at it.
But, something stops me. I always worry about how other people see me, not how i see myself and how I face the world. I understand now that whilst being happy relies much on other people’s actions for the good times in your life, those good times won’t happen unless you are happy. Catch 22.
I guess as I have got older that I have accepted my lot. I’m never going to be the life and soul of the party – I’m too controlled. I’m never going to be popular – I’m too self absorbed. I’m never going to be flamboyant, I’m never going to be exuberant, I’m never going to be happy happy HAPPY.
But I can enjoy the small things, but I can be the best friend you have ever had, I can be there for you when you need me, at any time, I can big you up, I can give advice, I can make a mean cosmopolitan for the days you just want to forget. And I can remember that doing all these things these days make me happy. And that’s’ all I need to be happy.
One day i might even reach out and grab the other things I deserve.
Kx
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P.s In amongst the mundane, this week has provided me with a number of bright sparks, ending with the homemade cosmopolitans my friend I and I consumed on Saturday night whilst discussing (read: gossiping) multiple topics, not least my last couple of blog posts. The chat helped clear my head, indeed, I feel happier with the current situation than I have in a long time – I guess a good start was me accepting that I was passing the blame of my funk on to someone else. So thanks to all of you who commented, listened, emailed and helped me out. Thank you x
P.p.s Im rather excited as i might have a new writing job(?) coming soon… watch this space.
P.p.p.s Girls – head over to Secret Lady Garden where we have a new post from Ria liani so go check it out, i’ll be back soon with a new post myself…
Really good to see you happier my lovely. And I demand a cosmopolitan or two next time I’m in Edinburgh! x
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I agree with your post – especially about how our happiness so much dependent upon others. However, I for one believe in being happy every single day. I try and smile even when I’m burning inside as I want to make sure my friends and people around me don’t suffer just because I’m having a bad day.
I like your posts. Keep these interesting / thought provoking blogs coming.
Cheers
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Thanks for a brilliant night lady! The cocktails were definately lethal – but provided for a great night had by all
On another note, I’m really glad you’re more settled with yourself these days. Maybe a move was all you needed so you could shake the sub-conscious memories of P in the old place and make some new memories with B in the new place
xxx
p.s. You never want to be 100% happy, it’s good to have 1 thing to moan about…
haha!
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helen they were rather yummy and yes, im finally getting happier (however long it lasts!)
MrP hello and welcome and thanks for the compliments! Although always happy people scare me, i want to stab them with a fork.
me! very true… all of it. time to move on and upwards!
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