Smidge

So, Miss H from the World According to Miss H has passed on the Happy 101 Award. Thanks honey!

Whilst Miss Smidge is not actually known for being a barrel of laughs/cheerful place (sorry). I’m honestly not this bad in real life… this is my place to, well, offload all the crap i don’t want to moan about. Anyways, as it’s a new year’s resolution to change all that, this is a good place to start. Ill still be me, but there will be less of the wanting to cut my wrists in jealous of not having your life kind of shit….

I’m digressing. The point of the Happiness award is to List 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and link back to the person that tagged you. Then tag 10 other bloggers that brighten your day.

Here we go:

Finnegan and Lily

Top of the tree of happiness has to be my cats (sorry Boy). Since adopting Fin nearly 2 years ago and Lily 1 year ago my life has changed completely. I never thought id be a good pet owner, being far too laxidasical and un-mother-like, but i  love my two annoying furballs despite the continuous demands for food, sick on the carpet, accidents on the bed and the fact Lily has morphed into a heffer because i let her eat too much….

The Boy

The third thing id save in a fire has to be the Boy. Hot, loving, naughty, cheeky, obnoxious and despite being down right annoying I love him to bits…

My family

I’m thankful for how close we have all become recently. We have our ups and downs, but i’m happy to have them on my side and of their ability to make me scream with laughter!

Planning for the future

It might be jumping the gun, but for once i have been looking forward, planning, thinking of the timing.. i might just be ready to settle down and cope with those sleepless nights.

Science fiction

Yes i am a geek and no i don’t care… Sci-fi taxes my brain like anything else. Im always looking out into the world and sci-fi makes me look out into the universe and potentially beyond. Sci-fi makes you realise life is very short and precious.

Blogging

Pretty much nuff said. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and there is no sign of me stopping yet. Thanks for sticking by me guys and gals!

Cooking

Despite the fact i eat a lot of takeaways i love to cook, my meatballs are legendary!

Travelling

I can never do enough travelling, next year we plan to head to the Lake District, Wales, Paris, Milan, Venice, Rome and maybe Sicily and then hopefully Australia for Christmas, popping into Hong Kong on the way… so excited about 2010.

Decorating my flat

I’ve recently moved back into my old tiny flat and im finally starting to put my stamp on it after years of it being a rented student hole.

Smoking

I love smoking, but it has to go in the New Year. Not smoking will make me happy in the long run…

So, on to the tagging… my favourite blogging girlies (thanks for all the comment love this year guys)

Helen from With eyes wide open
Ria from & that’s the way life goes
LizSara of If Music Be
Paula from Insert My Blog Name Here
Lainy from It’s Life Jim
Lora of Jakezilla
Lis from [last year's girl]
Lilu from Livit, Love it
Jo of Please Don’t Eat With Your Mouth Open
Candice from Sarcastically Bitter

See you guys in the new year – hope you all have an amazing one, whatever you get up to it and wherever you are. Here’s to a happy, safe, fulfilling and fun filled 2010 for all of us.

Miss S xx

Christmas recaps are boring. We all ate too much, drank too much and then lay around on the sofa. Well i did. But in between the overachieving in the field of gluttony there were a few bright sparks to write down for prosperity.

(..not least when my dad put a bobbin on the wood burning stove and blew out all the stove seals and the chimney with an extremely large bang…)

Anyways, one of these has to be my nephew. Here he is…

Altogether now… awwww

Gorgeous. His mother is my sister and we’ve never been close. Which is something I’ve always been a little disappointed by. Ok, i admit it, and have done many times before on here.. I’m jealous of her. She’s gorgeous, skinny (ok, so am i, but i cant live up to her Kate Moss type looks), has the man, the house, the baby, the money, the life, all that grass is greener shit that you are meant to lust after. …but then she gets drunk and starts calling her husband a cock; a frigid cock… I should be celebrating that all is not well in sister land, but to be honest I’m rather upset.

Be perfect again godammit.

I like my brother in law, i really do, but i don’t like the way my family pussyfoot around him and the baby. Babies have to learn to live, to understand noise, to not be spoilt, but this baby is wrapped up and treasured and mollycoddled to the extreme.

My family are messy, drunk, hilarious people who make a lot of noise and do stupid things.

…. like nobody taking keys when they go to the pub.

And then realising they are going to have to wake aforementioned b-in-law’s (and potentially baby). So what to do? Knocking on our front door is like banging on the door of fortknox. It’s big and loud and metal and you can hear it down the bottom of our garden, so that was out. As was calling through the letter box (we tried that). Then my dad had the bright idea of hosing down the window with his jet washer (just got the carpet wet inside) and then finally we all took turns to try and hit the window with snow balls (pathetic aims the lot of us).

My mother in the meantime was so in fear of the b-in-law’s reaching that she was crouched behind a parked car laughing so hard she pretty much pee’d herself.

… Or, how about the turkey walkabout?

At 5pm on Christmas day, our oven broke.

How come ovens always decide to break on Christmas day?

The turkey still had at least another two hours to go, so panic set in. Phone calls were duly made, and luckily as we were eating rather late (due to our late arrival home) space was found in an oven the other end of the village. My father was duly dispatched with said turkey through the snow, right through the center of the village – to much hilarity from our neighbours.

Of course, in truth, my father had done something stupid (again) as we discovered 30 minutes later when my mother realised that the 2^nd oven was still working. My father in his wisdom had set the timer on the oven and thinking that a turkey takes the same time as a chicken to cook had set this for 2 hours. Dad was duly dispatched to bring the turkey back through the villages to cheers and a good few toasts.

The turkey did not seem to suffer from its walkabout. I shall recommend this approach to Jamie Oliver for his next Christmas special.

There were many more piss your self laughing and brilliant moments…including no one admitting to leaving the car lights on over night…my sister drunkenly saying that jazz music makes her want to rub her nipples (!!)…seeing Macclesfield Town winning 4-1 at the football…dad and B’s farting competition…

But I shall leave you with a few photos of my time at home. Mostly taken in pubs, or whilst under the influence!

Miss S xx

View across the Cheshire plain

Langley

Ed (Bro-in-law brother) and B

Cheeky monkey (and sis and B-in-law)

Cheekier monkey

My mother got lazy on the way home from the pub

B

I’ve got way behind with the Best of 09 prompts – so here is a whole lot of them in one go…

December 9 – Challenge

It has to be Athens of course. Despite doing a lot of public speaking, this was the biggest and scariest one I have ever done. 150 people important people, simultaneously translated and two flights away. A total fear, crying, tired, scary rush!

December 10 – Album of the year

Hum, this is a tricky one as I don’t honestly listen to new music (i’m stuck on the Rolling Stones, Counting Crows, Nick Drake, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan kinda bandwagon) but I do like a bit of pop so ill say Lady Gaga – The Fame Monster

December 11 – The best place

The best place I visited? Well it’s a toss up between Calella de Palafrugel in Spain and Copenhagen, but honestly its still Edinburgh – always.

December 12 – New food

For years I couldn’t eat Chinese food as I am allergic to MSG, but having discover my new local Chinese is truthfully MSG free I am able to enjoy it again. Even if its just a couple of spring rolls!

December 13 – What’s the best change you made to the place you live?

Moving out of the house I shared with my ex – 100% best thing I’ve done this year. im loving living back in my bachelorette pad, even if I spend some evenings twittering my loneliness.

December 14 – Rush

Athens again!

December 15 – Best packaging

Cocosa! I love this shop and I love the fact they send everything beautifully wrapped and in nice cardboard bags

December 16 – Tea of the year

I don’t really drink tea, but I have just got myself a lovely Kenyan AA… mmmm

 December 17 – Word or phrase

Thankyouverymuchly. The Boy loves mimicking this – I think I got it from the interwebs somewhere.

December 18 – Shop

Cocosa again. Designer discounts (whats not to love)

December 19 – Car ride

Hopefully the journey home for Christmas on Friday – im praying that its clear of snow!

December 20 – New person

I’ve met so many new bloggy mates this year so its hard to choose – so this one is for all of you guys (you know who you are!)

December 21 – Project

The new miss-smidge blog, I finally got myself my own address and hosting. Watch this space for developments in the new year. I have big plans!

December 22 – Startup

Can I say Cocosa again?

December 23 – Web tool

Twitter! I don’t know how I lived without it to be honest – im fully addicted and happy to admit it!

Miss S xx

I’m rather ba-humbug about Christmas this year.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s the 21^st December and I have yet to get a tree – despite last year practically getting one on the 1st.

Or maybe it’s because i’m ho-hum about the presents I’ve bought folk – not terribly inspiring I must say.

Possibly it’s because i’m worried about getting home at all for it – my parents live high up in the Pennines and are currently snowed in having fun teaching an Australian baby to sledge.

(Someone told me, or I read it somewhere, that you know that you are an adult when your first reaction when you see snow is ‘oh god’ rather than ‘oh goody’ – tramping about dirty, crowded streets in the ice and wind is not my idea of fun – give me a mountain, fresh air and quiet instead.)

If I wanted to do a little more head dabbling, I could say its because my sister en famille are over from Australia and the attention will be focused around the extended rather than the close, but that just makes me sound bitter and twisted and rather ungrateful – and i’m looking forward to giving my nephew such a hug.

But it also could be the fact that I’m working right up to Christmas Eve instead of like last year harumphing off home quick smart (after getting dumped) – there is nothing like the anticipation of Christmas sat in front of the fire with your feet up gossiping with your papa over a whiskey late at night.

But maybe, really, truthfully, its because i’m nervous of things going wrong, of putting my trust in waking up on Christmas morning with kisses and smiles and presents, of happiness and family and friends on New Year when last year was so dark and empty and cold.

But maybe this does me good to remember, as it’s so easy to forget those who are going through it very alone.

But maybe, hopefully, thankfully, this year Christmas will be a little different, a little shinier, and a little happier for us all.

Miss S xx

So today is my work’s Christmas lunch.

I can break my no talking about work with this one, as really Christmas lunch isn’t about work is it?

 Ok, i’m lying, the Christmas lunch/night out is the most work related thing you will have to do all year. It’s a bloody minefield….

1)      If you get there first, even if you try to sit in the middle so you can speak to everyone you will end up between two groups, neither of which will speak to you.

2)      Who you sit next to determines the future of your career. If you end up next to the bloke who never changes his jacket – then you are thought of the same way.

3)      Cliques in work are the same as cliques out of work. No one really is more friendly with a drink inside them and if they are they always seem to forget the following Monday.

4)      Turkey is awful – why eat it twice? – you can have curry instead – Christmas wont die just because you do.

5)      Following the meal you will always end up in random bars in a random part of town, just to carry on drinking. Your work mate’s choice is never your choice, but you go with the expensive drinks, bad atmosphere and awful music ‘just because it’s Christmas’.

6)      There is always one person who gets reeking drunk. This is usually the same person every year. Their behaviour is always a signal to get the hell out of there before things get really bad.

7)      If you end up snogging a work mate then the best option is never to talk about it again and deny it even happened in your own head – if you have to face the workmate again carry on with your job obliviously.

8)      Don’t have regrets – Don’t be the last one standing. Don’t try to guess your boss’s salary. Don’t start mixing drinks. Don’t start buying rounds. Don’t start suggesting clubbing.

9)      Do just leave – no one really cares that you are leaving – you are stopping the fun and will moan at you to stay, they won’t notice if you just go.

10)  Make sure that you have a party to go to afterwards – you’ll need to get properly drunk as soon as you leave!

 Happy works Christmas Do!

 Miss S x

Having spent the last 3 days in bed, i’ve had a lot of time to think. And read your blog posts. And all the creativity out there and the looking back and the review of the last 10 years (thanks H for the idea, its on its way) and i’ve come to realise something.

I’ve lost something.

I’m really not sure what it is, but sometime over the couple of years the drama left my life.

I used to love drama.

I used to love the fact that my life was like a soap opera.

I used to love the fact my life was non stop.

I was doing this boy and oh no, now i’m doing this boy too and this friend knows and that one doesn’t and oh my god where did i wake up this time and this band is the best i’ve ever fucking seen.  I loved the whole “so where are you lets go out and party” and the “Yes my flat is 5 minutes away lets go drink some more” times.

(Ok, it might look from recent photos that i am still like this, but i’m not. Honestly)

But then I met him, the LTE and i became homebody me, the comfortable me, the quiet me.

But then i became the bitter me, the looking back me, the wondering where my fun and happy and exciting life went to me.

I missed the crazy me. I missed the non stop energiser bunny personality that i used to have. I missed the working in clubs, in bars. I missed bar boys and bar flies and personalities and all the crazy people i used to meet every weekend. I missed random numbers in my phone filed under the name of the bus stop we met in.

And i went back to the evil me, the soap opera me, lying cheating, not coming home me.

…and then because of me all that ended and i became alone me, rebound me, looking me.

But i still hadn’t lost me. Not yet.

Then i fell in love and i really did lose me(*).

…and ME is still lost….

It’s ME, that’s missing.

This is why i look at people and think i don’t fit in. Because now i have no idea who me is or where what could have been me for the last 31 years has gone to.

…and all the quick fix solutions i’ve put up on here in the last 6months don’t have a cat in hells chance of working if i can’t find me again.

But i’ve got bloody no idea where to start this time.

Miss S x

(*) If you need the history to this, go here, here, here and here….

Hi everyone, welcome to the Miss Smidge blog.

You see there is something called statcounter, it tells me lots of things about the people who read my blog and when i suddenly get an extra 100 or so hits a day i start to wonder who you are. If you are new to blogging you might not know this but Blogs are reciprocal things, you read, you say Hi and make yourself known as a reader, especially if you dont want to make me feel I have a stalker.

Anyways, enough of the passive-aggressiveness i’m not sure how many of my readers have made it over here from the old place (and how many got lost on the way) so this is your chance to say hello and make yourself known –  I like Miss Smidge to be a community you see.

Not just somewhere to read some gossip from my world

Miss S x

Dear Santa

2009 has been a bit of a blah year, there haven’t been many ‘best’ days, best happenings, best moments. It’s been a year of dragging myself along, trying to find some where better, more fun, more exciting. Life has been under a big grey cloud this year. So, for my Christmas present this year i would like 2010 to be better thankyouverymuchly –if i’m not too late for a Christmas delivery here are my wishes…

1)      I would like some motivation back. It’s getting there, but id like 2010 to be infused with energy, a better outlook and wanting to get out of bed every day.

2)      I would like to be finally better and for my life not to be controlled by it.

3)      I would like my friends to be happy, most of them seem to have had a much worse year than me, so sort this out please.

4)      I don’t want to fall out with anyone in 2010, too many friends left my life in 2009 and i don’t want to lose anymore, even if i need a slight personality transplant to stop this from happening. Lessons in this would be appreciated.

5)      I would also like my half empty approach in life to be transformed into a half full one.

6)      I want to be able to write well, express myself, and find comfort in my blogging rather than a drive for readers and comments.

7)      I want to give up smoking. Please send magic cures.

8)      I want to stop putting things off until tomorrow, next week, next year. I want to stop wishing that days would move faster;  i have a life to live, i want to remember that.

9)      I want to trust the feelings that i have right now, that this is the right thing for me.

10)   If you can’t do any of the above I would like a Balenciaga handbag, a pair of louboutins  and a car; those things are easy – right?

Miss S xx

Thank you for Helen for the idea for this post.