tell me baby, what’s your story?
Being in and out of the hospital and doctor’s surgery recently has seen one question come up time and time again – are you pregnant? No nurse, no doctor, no nurse, no doctor, I am not pregnant, nor am I planning to be, but yes, if I did accidentally get pregnant – it would not be a big deal.
Reactions to my response from the healthcare professionals have been a little awkward to say the least. They look askance that it would not be a planned baby. And if it was accidental, that surely I couldn’t be happy about it.
The only come back I seem to be able to muster is that i’m 31; it has to happen at some point.
(I don’t mention that my other favourite evidence that I am ready for child is that I can look after 2 cats. Even if one of them has now officially become a heifer. That is not my fault though; I didn’t introduce her to cheese, she sniffed it out herself).
I don’t know at what point you are meant to start planning to have a baby, rather than say, getting accidentally pregnant without really wanting it. The healthcare professionals made me feel rather weird for wanting to let nature take its course. Surely like anything – if you worry about it – then it’s more likely to not happen?
I guess an underlying point of this rant is that I also feel our so called health professionals push women into shoving their bodies full of chemicals all too easily. I have tried most of them, and all of them make my natural occurring, happy body do the weirdest things. Things I do not like it doing. Like being crazy. No drugs = no crazy. Win, win for everyone.
Yes, contraception is essential for young women who really would not like the responsibility of a child foisted upon them through a little accident. But for an adult like me, I’d like to be able to make my own choices about what I put in and what happens to my body.
I just don’t get why that is so difficult for people to understand. Is this just me though? Do you think this this should be planned? Do you feel forced into conforming to this?
Same here and I must say it’s not just British healthcare. My decision to get off the pill clearly means to most of my family, some friends and doctors both here and in Poland that I’m actually trying to get pregnant. They would go as far as telling me that this is the case and it’s just me who doesn’t realise that. So if I happen to get pregnant soon it’ll prove their point :/ I’m not desperate for a child, in fact I quite like being childless, but if it happens it’ll definitely make me happy. I just don’t want to plan it!
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smidge Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
I’ve been off the pill for about 8 years now and every time i say well i dont really use anything, condoms occasionally, i get this look from people – like im mad. Well apart from my best mate – she is of the same view as me.
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I agree with you but I think people’s perceptions on these topics have got more and more skewed lately. I’d definitely agree with not putting chemicals in your body where you can help it. If it’s right for you, don’t let others tell you otherwise!
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smidge Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Hello
What do you mean by people’s perceptions have got more and more skewed? That sounds and interesting point…
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L.C.T. Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
There are some things that have become the ‘norm’ but are so far away from how we’re naturally made and who we are. Society’s views has changed the way we are supposed to perceive our situations. So often there is a reason for why we feel the way we do and unless we have reason to believe otherwise we need to stick to that. Otherwise we’re just one in a bunch of conformists…
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I’m not on birth control and quite frankly, I don’t ever want to be. I’ve freaked out about the effects it can have without being on it enough to say I don’t need to worry about them while being on it.
My mother always asks me if I’ve gone on it yet. It’s such an awkward conversation because she fully believes I should and even if I felt the same, it’s not something I’d discuss with her.
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I’ve never been on the pill. I have no desire to be. Perhaps it was from all the speeches regarding how many side effects it had in school (I’m Catholic, we got that a lot – although the point was meant to be that we shouldn’t have sex at all). I use condoms on the (rare) occasions I am with someone, I’m careful and if I ever become pregnant it WILL be a complete accident (at least at the moment) but I’m not going to shove myself full of chemicals in an effort to prevent that. That’s just not me.
I don’t even particularly like taking PAINKILLERS!
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did you have girly surgery? I know you had a few password protected posts, and I long lost the password and feel funny asking again, so maybe it was spelled out there.
if so, I feel for you, been there done that never want to go back. Love to you. I hope it didn’t hurt too awful bad.
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smidge Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 10:35 am
Thanks honey, yes i did. CIN3
Hopefully its all been sorted now. If you ever want to read a P/W protected post just let me know..
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The thing is a lot of people seem incapable of being as sensible and level-headed as you. However the people who are incapable of making a clear decision are the ones who should be on (permanent) birth control (IMO). But I’ve been ‘done’. Two daughters, one planned but sadly deceased, one unplanned and thriving in Spain with her mother. And no more for me, that’s it.
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I’m on the pill and happy to be. It makes my periods lighter, I know when they’re going to happen, and allows me to enjoy sex without worrying if I’m going to be mopping up baby sick in 9 months instead of travelling the world and enjoying my 20′s. As for the chemical side of things, in my opinion if you drink alcohol regularly or smoke, is that any worse than feeding yourself a contraceptive pill every day? Both chemicals, just with different effects.
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A relative of mine had an unexpected pregnancy recently after she had her own girly surgery- and she using protection. It was like the immaculate conception, sans Jesus.
And I think she shares your sentiment- things happen, and it shouldn’t matter to others how it happens in your life, or if you are trying/not trying to get pregnant. That’s your business.
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