(Although please don’t take that as a reference that I am cheap!)

B, like I expected, is being himself too, it is one of the reasons why I love him – his individuality. He’s wearing a kilt (yippee) but a very different kilt (to this anyway so not sexy imo); it will be, like his personality, a little bit quirky. However, like him with my dress, I won’t see the kilt until our wedding day as he wants to keep it secret – fair play, I am too.

The question is if neither of us is seeing what we will look like beforehand will we match? Will our outfits make us look like a couple or two individuals, with our differences out there for everyone to see? It has been said that the wedding is the symbol of how you want the marriage to be seen. So you match. Look how we match, look how perfect we are together…

(Lets just ignore the fact the bride’s mother often has a strong hand in the wedding, just like she will for the rest of the marriage, ahem)

I’m going to call bullshit. I am going to call out all those perfect weddings that hide the differences, that make it all about how you look as a couple.  B has a personality too. He wont suddenly disappear once we get married and neither will I.

B and I have struggled over the years to reconcile our relationship; there is no shame in this. Give me a couple who hasn’t and I’ll call them liars. There is nothing wrong with being different people, that is what, after everything we have been through, the ups and downs, makes us the couple we are today, the couple we want to become. That is what our wedding will be a symbol of.

Even if we both turn up in front of our guests looking like we put our socks* on in the dark…we still look like a pair of cute hobbits.

Miss S x

* Yes, one black, one blue. Again

Wedding Wednesday hosted over at Something Charming. You can read my other wedding posts under the Mr + Mrs Smidge tag.

It is only 2 days, but look.

I am stubborn. Carrot does not work for me.
I need a stick.
A big stick to beat this bad habit out of me.
A disgusting 16 year habit.

I don’t want to be a smoking bride on my wedding day.
I don’t want to have to hide every hour from my niece and nephew on holiday in 3 weeks time.
I don’t want my wee brother to have a smoking big sister.
I don’t want to smell (although my breath right now is 10 times worse)
I don’t want to be puffing and panting as I climb stairs, into bed…
I don’t want to have spots, bad dermatitis and ibs (which I am sure smoking makes worse)

I don’t want to give in this time.
I still need NRT right now.
But come 3 months time I want to be finally free.
I am going to need all the support I can get.

Smoking be gone.

Miss S x

Last week…

• B & I visited 21^st Century Kilts where we were looked after by the fabulous Howie who served us Innis & Gunn from the Thistle Street Bar while we perused the fabric books and ate space raiders. It looks like B has made his mind up about it, so come summer time he’ll be getting fitted for it. He’ll look gorgeous, who says the wedding is all about the bride?

• The pub treasure hunt I organised went very well, despite the fact it chucked it down the whole time. The clues were at: The Pear Tree, The Brass Monkey, The Oz Bar, The White Horse, Captains Bar, The Malt Shovel and we started and ended at Holyrood 9a (where to be honest we hid for most of the night and ate their amazing burgers) surprisingly I was ok on Friday morning.

• Friday was movie night, we tried to watch the American version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but honestly if it wasn’t for the lust factor of Daniel Craig, I would have turned it off a long time before I did. Yawn.

• I was working Saturday afternoon, well if you could call a trip on the ReUnion canal boat working. We went from Edinburgh Quay to Wester Hailes and bank on a glorious sunny day (well for Scotland). I may be called sad, but there I love the leisurely movement of a canal boat, there is something about traveling at 4 miles an hour that makes the stress of life just slip away. After a leisurely day I made my way to a friends BBQ, wine, chicken, burgers, good music (there may have been a bit of Proud Mary) good friends and great chat in the sunshine. As the others went off clubbing we were sensible and were tucked up in bed with a tasty pizza from the Italian Connection in Bruntsfield by Midnight.

• On Sunday, after the fantastic ending to the Premier League season (hahahahaha MUFC)  B and I met B’s sister and her friend in 99 Hanover Street and then Bramble where we started to work through my wedding look. I am so excited about all the options. I may have to get used to red lippy between now and then as it is featuring strongly in my ideas.  We finished off the evening at Bar Napoli with my favourite Polla al a Crema. It made me dream even more of our honeymoon on the Amalfi Coast…

So, onto this week:

• This is the end of a period of over indulgence. As of today I am on a holiday detox. In 23 days I will be lying by the pool and I have to get fit for it. No more winter comfort eating. No more stodgy meals. No more avoiding the gym. I am going to look fab on this holiday if it kills me.

• Secondly as of today there will be no more smoking. Yes that’s right I finally signed up for smoking cessation and I am giving up again. This is day 1… wish me luck

I’ll leave you with a few photos. How was your week folks?

Miss S x

It made me think – do I?

I didn’t think so, but then I had never really thought it was an issue either.

As a child, I was encouraged to get good grades, but never to sing about them. If I did well, well, then it was smiles all round, if not then it was good enough. Failure wasn’t a bad thing either; it just meant that you were better at something else. But success, well, then you had to think about all the things you couldn’t do and work on them too. No one was, is, good or bad at everything. All you could do was to try.

Hard work is important. Work hard and however well you achieve you will always get respect for it. Be a grafter. But don’t sing and shout about working hard either; I could shout that for the last two years I have worked full time whilst completing a master’s degree. But honestly, people run countries, families, 2 jobs and do much more than I did these last 2 years, sometimes I struggle to run my life and keep my health whilst working this hard.

My mum (the adopted one) jokes that she can relay my achievements (the big ones, not me getting out of bed every day) to her friends with pride because I wasn’t hers. She can bask in the glory of my master’s degree because she didn’t make me. I can understand what she means – she is able to bask in reflective glory, but not say ‘She did this, she did this because of me.’ it takes the smugness away, but leaves the pride behind

So for R (and my mum who has already told everyone) I am going to tell you something. In two weeks time I am going to an awards ceremony. An awards ceremony where a piece of work I project managed, wrote and delivered is up for a national award.

I am proud and I am allowed to be. Now wish me luck and someone please tell me what to wear!

Miss S x

Welcome B! x

The budget for the wedding has been set. Smidge is doing her best to increase it, I’ve become nervous, turning into a miserable, tight fisted b*stard. I’m Scottish she might say, it’s expected, but I don’t normally care how much something costs – I encourage spending. Do you like it? Buy it.

We’re both happy with the plans so far; we’ve hardly spent a penny – yet. But it’s going to get painful. There’s a few things I’m happy spending on, Smidge’s dress* Smidge’s wedding ring to match her engagement ring and a nice hotel for her to spend the night before the wedding in** and for when we turn up blind drunk after the do and she has to undress me and put me in the bathtub***.

So, what about me you say? What’s being spent on you? Don’t worry about me. I’m being looked after. I’m now wearing a kilt, we have an appointment at 21st Century Kilts soon and I’m going to get a custom made number. Blow the budget.

This is what a kilt should look like....

One way we’re saving is on my wedding ring. I’ve decided to use what was my grandfather’s old ring. My gran cried when I asked if she would mind me wearing it; she remembered buying my grandfather it. I could’ve cried myself. She was so happy about it that she made my mind up for me instantly.

One of the most important guests at the wedding will be my gran, our gran. I’ve spent many a good Saturday afternoon in the Eastender’s pub with her and her gang and if anyone knows the pub near the Barra’s in Glasgow you’ll understand. I’ve never met anyone like her.

Plus the ring is big, very, very big, very gold, with a giant garnet stone -  a gypsy gignet ring – you won’t miss it, especially on my hobbit-like hands. It is quite possibly the most Glasgow Gangster ring you could imagine. I love it, plus it’s a fitting tribute I think.

Mr Smidge-to-be.

Boys, what would you wear as your wedding ring? Do you like the idea of passing down a ring from grandfather to grandson?

Miss S x

* My dress is bought! So excited by this right now. The shoes are next. Btw the dress is Pronovias and so cute.
** Essential for the girls to use the night before to get drunk in
***This will happen. He will still be wearing his socks.

Last week…

• Was actually pretty quiet which inspired me to write my 40 before 40 post. I was bored mum. However, Saturday was a great day, one of the best for a while – I had another day out with the bestie to try on dresses, with this week being the turn of La Novia and Lamesley Bridal. Both shops had a fantastic selection of dresses and great service. I particularly loved the personal service at Lamesley, complete with tea and cake provided. Gorgeous vintage shop too.

Lamesley Bridal, Edinburgh

(btw I am even going back with B’s mum to try on a dress again, the first I have wanted to show anyone else, so you might be hearing more about this on Wednesday!)

• I want to also try the modern dress option, so we also headed into Harvey Nicks and I tried on this BCGCMAXAZRIA dress (gorgeous) and the lovely assistant Grace brought me Loubi’s to try on with it. Heaven. Not quite perfect for a wedding, but I loved the look. Fancy garden party this summer anyone?

• After the crappy Cup Final B and I (well mostly I) went to drown our sorrows, but first we had to go back to to Kanpai. Love love love this place. We had: fresh salad and prawn spring rolls, edamame beans, veg and chicken dumplings, spicy tuna dunkan nigiri, spicy tuna maki and the star of the show Teppan Sirloin. Heavenly. We had a few rum’s in the Blue Blazer afterwards, spending a great evening chatting to two animators from New York, talking whisky, real ale and er prostitutes..

Teppan Sirloin, Kanpai

This week:

• I have to get started on Daughter of Smoke and Bone properly if I am going to make it for the next blook club. I’ve always read a huge amount, but recently I have started a lot of books but just can’t get into anything (including The Alchemist, Feersum Endjinn, IQ84, and Intrusion) so I’ve reverted back to an oldie but a goodie sci-fi trilogy (Night’s Dawn by Peter F Hamilton) which is tying up my evenings.

• I’m running a pub treasure hunt, but just in case someone from my work reads this (hiya!) I won’t reveal the pubs. However, the list does include one of my favourites in Edinburgh…Friday will be er fun.

How was your week, what are you up to? Let me know :)

Miss S x

For blogs that’s obviously utterly boring. No drama. No fallings out. No relationships break ups, for a while touch wood. Yawn. Anyways, this isn’t another post about what the hell do I make my blog about from now on, or whether as a settled soon to be wifey and then hopefully yummy mummie I should just carry on as I am (although GIVE me advice) but about what I do with my life next to bring back some of the excitement…

I’m going to be 35 next year. Frick. 35. I don’t feel, look or dress like I am 35. My man is yet to be even 30. But in my heart of hearts I know that I really am 35. This stability is what comes along with that. But do you know what? I admit it. I miss the rollercoaster. I miss the drama. I even miss the fallings out sometimes, whilst I don’t miss feeling crappy when someone upset me, I do miss the tummy jumping happiness that came with the highs and lows of just jumping on and going with it.

I don’t want to be 35 and stable, descending into middle aged spread. I don’t want to come home every night, turn on the TV and the ipad, grab a cat, a packet of cookies and just sit, sit, sit. I want to be 35 and grabbing life with both hands.

Up a tiny mountain near Windermere.
I want to climb a bigger one.

So, as part of the spring clean around here I am making some changes. First up is one of those 40 before 40 lists. In the next 5 years I want a plan. I want no plans. I want to be brave enough to go to blook club. I want to be brave enough to fly to South America. I want to ride a scooter. I want to visit Italy. I want to organise another blogger’s meet up. I want to work out what I want to do next and this blog (and hopefully you) will come along with me.

Any suggestions for shaking things up a bit?

Miss S x

P.s my 40 before 40 is in the sidebar. Its small just now, but it will grow.

After the venue, the photographer and the reception are booked there is so much choice as to what to plan next! Flowers, decorations, invitations… every blog, book, magazine out there makes having a theme priority and the main thing? Well everything has to match.

Apart from people’s opinions never match, the only thing B and I have agreed on up to now was that we wanted an ‘anti-wedding’. But what the hell does ‘anti wedding actually mean? What do we actually want from our wedding, how do we make a choice?!

Well, I obviously started where all internet savy girls start – the wedding blogs and as I have written about before they left me tearing my hair out. There are literally hundreds of wedding blogs them, but as far as I can see they fall into two camps.

On the one side there is the alternative bride side – the most famous being Rock and Roll Bride – these are wedding stuffed full of Crafts! Handmade Stuff! Tattoos! Bunting! Lots of bunting.  Multicoloured shoes and dresses and pink hair! Basically the RNR bride shouts I can look different and still want to be traditional and get married! F*ck tradition, lets be traditional.  This at first is what I thought I wanted, but honestly, it isn’t me at all. A) I do not like bunting outside a royal jubilee and b) I haven’t been crafty since I was in the brownies.

On the other there is are all the other blogs (Grey Likes Weddings, 100 Layer Cake) which show the beautiful hippy brides, the pretty farm receptions, hand painted favours, graphically designed by the groom invitations, jewel colours and 8 different designer bridesmaid dresses. Otherwise known as having someone do all the stuff for you is the norm and paying through the nose through it too. All this is not me either, despite my love of a good designer dress it is the antisepsis of anti-wedding. To cutesy! Too princessy! Too blog!

But if you decide to take the middle path then you are boring and bland and falling prey to the wedding industry – if you aren’t doing it yourself or paying someone to make it look like you are then you are DOING IT WRONG.

I am not doing it wrong, we are doing it so right for us. Who cares…

• if we have given up trying to design our invitations. My hand drawing really was crap.
• if we have given up trying to be non- traditional – we really are – I suit a proper dress and I’m dying to see B in a kilt.
• if we don’t care if our flowers we like are normally used at funerals – I love them.
• if we don’t give a hoot that our playlist will include Build Me up Buttercup or that our first dance is cheesy.
• if we aren’t serving venison, smoked salmon and steak for dinner – nobody ever dances properly after a big steak.
• if we don’t pretend to like champagne and biting the cost in our budget – I much prefer prosecco and its half the price. At least I am honest.

…and finally this is a wedding after all. It is B and I’s wedding. Its not anti in any way. Through all the choices we have to make, we need to remember that everything we choose, however twee, cheesy, glamorous or damn traditional will reflect that…and that is enough.

More than enough and I don’t need any blog apart from my own to tell me so.

Miss S x

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, it is spring cleaning time around here. First up is a redesign, let me know in the comments of any browser issues and what you think. Plus subscribers if would you mind popping out of your readers to have a wee look?

Thanks S x

Last week…

• Included a trip to see The Hunger Games (finally, I was waiting for B to finish reading it). I must admit I was rather disappointed. It was slow, there was no gore (ok I know it’s a kids book) but it’s a pretty gory subject which was glossed over. I really don’t like films that don’t being the darkness of the book through to the screen. Plus I didn’t like Gale or Peeta, but I did like Haymitch and  Cinna. Katniss was a little meh.
• We followed the hoards (including an ex, embarrassing) to visit the refurbished Southern bar which has been taken over by the folks of Holyrood 9a and the Red Squirrel fame. The beer was good, as were the burgers (bbq and bacon and mushroom) and the staff were so friendly and helpful, but sadly the place lacked atmosphere. Maybe it because it’s no longer the scruffy Southern but in this case I think the gentrification has gone a little too far, maybe in time it will bed in.

• I also ate at Roma in Glasgow, with the lovely Polly. Fab night and my resulting Sunday was very slow because of it. I love catching up with my blogging girls in real life, sometimes you just have to hear the gos from the horse’s mouth, if you know what I mean (not that P is a horse!)
• We celebrated the Cask and Barrel Southside winning the Edinburgh Camra Pub of the Year for 2012. The landlord has a right to be proud as the pub only opened 18 months ago. B and I have been frequenting the pub from the start and have sampled many a fine pint since. You can follow the Cask and Barrel on twitter where they tweet every new barrel that goes on. I’d suggest looking out for Thornbridge’s Jaipur India Pale Ale, at 5.9% it makes for a very funny evening.
• Beer wise I also visited the newly named No.1 The High Street (formally The Tass) and I am mourning the loss of the old place. More gentrification not needed. Good beers though including one of my favourites Timothy Taylor Landlord.
• It wasn’t all drinking this weekend, as I also started to find all of the giant hoodie’s painted by Edinburgh College of Art student Joe Caslin. You can see a set of the artwork via Flickr, but my take on it is below. I love the fact you have to find and spot these artworks, despite the fact they are huge. Well done Edinburgh for allowing it. Joe Caslin’s website is also worth checking out.

So onto this week:

• More wedding dress shopping, planning my work’s pub treasure hunt, hair dying, house cleaning and back to the swimming twice a week.
• Plus  it is now only 5 weeks until my holiday, with (hopefully) a visit from my brother, a trip to Zante and Kefalonia, it is going to be a brilliant 2 weeks. Check out the weather in Zante right now!

What are you getting up to?

Miss S x